this is a joke thread

[Jack the Stripper]

Hey, the new Democratic ticket bumper sticker is out.   

Wow it rhymes. Hilarious! Just as good “Dump Trump“

[Typhon]

^^^^^^
More than rhymes, is also true.   

[Jack the Stripper]

^^^Don’t really know her but does she like to sleep around does she? Screwed her way to the top?

[Charger]

^^^Don’t really know her but does she like to sleep around does she? Screwed her way to the top?

That seems to be the consensus indeed...

Also it is worth mentioning that when the sexual misconduct accusations towards Joe Biden came about she believed them and condemned Biden's behavious...which further proves that she is willing to do what ever it takes to further her career....

[Vyn]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

[Typhon]

^^^Don’t really know her but does she like to sleep around does she? Screwed her way to the top?

In the 1990's, she had a year long affair with the married San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown.  He is 31 years older than her.  The Mayor wound up giving Harris 2 political appointments, which helped to boost her career (no pun intended).   

[Zzzptm]

Vyn's joke made me laugh. +1 for that.



And do you *really* want to go down a path that examines a candidate's sexual past if you're a Trump supporter? REALLY???

We can talk about getting a stripper to spank you with a rolled-up Forbes with your photo on it all day long, if you want to. And that cover also has two of your own kids on it, to boot.

As for rape allegations, you need to borrow someone else's fingers and toes to count Trump's. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations It's not even funny... not even the ones that start with "Donald Trump walks into a dressing room at a pageant, where all these teens are in various states of undress..." 

But I could work on a joke about that, if you like. I'd pattern it off of USSR-era Russian humor, which would go with how Trump likes to pattern himself after Comrade Putin, amirite or amirite?

Here we go...

Donald Trump goes in to Michael Cohen's office and says, "Ah, Mikey, I screwed up bigly."

"What is it *this* time, Donny?"

"I screwed a big porn star and now I'm worried she'll tell all."

"You worried about the damage to your family?"

"No! I'm worried about the damage to my rep! I'm a kinky so-and-so, I can't have people snickering about that when I'm in meetings! I need it quashed!"

"OK" says Mikey Cohen, "I'll see what I can do."

The lawyer comes back and says, "OK, Donny, she'll keep quiet if you pay her off."

Donny Trump whips out his checkbook and writes one out for 300 grand, hands it to his lawyer. Mikey Cohen shreds it up and says, "You idiot! You dumbass! You shit-for-brains! Don't you know nothing about keeping things on the down-low? Hand her a personal check and EVERYBODY's gonna know you were involved! You gotta make the payment through a shell company, that way nobody knows."

"Ohhhhhh" says Donny Trump. "A shell company."

"Right" says Mikey Cohen. "A shell company. Preferably one owned by another shell company that itself is owned by still another shell company. Total shell game, nobody follows up on it."

"Ohhhhh" says Donny Trump. "Nobody can possibly trace it back to me, that way."

"Exactly" says Mikey Cohen. "No way that anyone can possibly trace it back to you. Now, give me a minute, here..." and Mikey Cohen pulls out a ledger from a shell company owned by a shell company owned by another shell company and makes out the check. "Perfect, we're good to go. Just need one thing."

"What's that?" asks Donny Trump.

So Mikey Cohen says, he says "Checks' no good without your signature. Sign here."

Donny Trump nods and signs it. "Totally untraceable!"

Mikey Cohen says, "Yeah, totally untraceable! Like I told you!"

Donny asks, "This isn't gonna wind up in front of a Congressional committee or anything, is it?"

Mikey Cohen says, he says, "Of course not! What am I, an idiot like you?"

Donny says, "No, I guess not. I only hire the best of the best when it comes to lawyers."

"Exactly. Nothing to worry about. Let's go get some lunch, right after I stop the recording of this meeting."

 



Or, we could keep the politics out of this thread, too... any way you want to do it.

[Zzzptm]

Why did Trump get banned from the dog shows?

Because he screws every bitch he sees!

Why did Trump get banned from the cat shows?

Because he grabbed every pussy there!

Why is Trump still allowed to attend turtle shows?

Mitch McConnell vouched for him!

[Charger]

But come on...why is it worse for Trump than it is for Biden?

Both have done the deed there is no question...but only one gets crucified and the other one gets a brush off...double standard...as always.


But lets try to keep this about jokes...

Here's a good one:

[Zzzptm]

It's worse for Trump because he's done more of it! And with teenagers, too! ZING!

But seriously, folks...

[Vyn]

First person to name the musical artist wins a point!

[Typhon]

There's no math thread, so I'll put this here.

a = allegation,   p = proof

a - p = a         a + p = p

[Zzzptm]

First person to name the musical artist wins a point!

It sounds like some kind of cumbia dance... Selena?

[Vyn]

+1 Z!

[Zzzptm]

+1 Z!

As Julius Caesar once said, "Bidi bidi bom bom."