OH NO NO NO NO PLEASE GOD HELP ME: The *Worst* Metal Bands, Ever!

[Zzzptm]

List is as long as it needs to be.

Yes, they were/are metal. Well, "metal" in the sense that the media at the time regarded them as so. But they're bad. Some are just regular bad, and others are so bad they make your ears bleed, and not in a good way.

I'll start the list. We should list the band and how bad it is, being specific if it helps. If someone else here likes the band and you know it, be ready to just be joking. If someone here likes the band and you *don't* know it, be ready to leave it off the list and to let it go at that.

I'll start...

Bon Jovi - VERY BAD, WARNING! - poser hair metal, the shame of the late 80s!

I think we all agree on that one...

[Jack the Stripper]

Poison. Could never stand them. They rode on the coat tails of bands like Motley Crüe, Ratt and Dokken but were far less talented and visionist. At least you knew Bon Jovi had some type of underlying talent moreso after Slippery When Wet but Poison never had it.. Every member was a hack Musician.. If ever there was a band that just got lucky in the right time & right place, it’s Poison.

[Jack the Stripper]

I should also stipulate that I’m talking about the original lineup of Poison
Bret Michaels
C.C.  DeVille
Rikki Rocket
Bobby Dall

Both Richie Kotzen and Blues Saraceno joined for one album each respectively in the 90’s and both are amazing guitarist/musicians

[Vyn]

Bon Jovi and Poison had a child and named it Nelson.

[Thelemech]

Mr. Big and any band like them. Now I know that they had some great musicians in the group but every time I heard them as youngish Metal Head I felt nauseated. Just total commercial garbage.

My absolute most hated band is Limp Bizkit. Fred Durst is the biggest douche bag in Metal as far as I am concerned.

[Charger]

I actually quite like Bon Jovi...they got few very very good songs...but again wouldn't call them metal though.

All of these rap metal bands would get my collective vote. Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park shit like that. Worst kind of "music" ever.

[Tyr66]

some bands have a repulsive effect on me. A melody, a sound, a voice, a track, I don't really know what causes it in me but what's certain is this total rejection as soon as I hear something from :

Bon Jovi ,except mabe the very first album
Ratt
Poison
Nirvana, ok grunge but you know what I mean ...
System of a Down , can't stand Serj Tankian's voice.
Queen of a Stone Age , so painful to hear.
Rage against The Machine
Limp Biskit 
Linkin Park 
Sabaton , just awful
Five Finger Death Punch, a joke .
DragonForce
Blind Guardian , please let J.R.R. Tolkien's spirit alone.
Baby Metal . A shame .
Lordi , same as Baby Metal.

[Zzzptm]

Bon Jovi and Poison had a child and named it Nelson.

GAAAAAAGHH!!! I remember that!!!

Thanks for nothin', Vyn!

[Zzzptm]

Van Halen without David Lee Roth, in retrospect, is not Van Halen. I can somewhat stand Van Hagar. But, after that... eeeuuuuugggghhh.

[Jack the Stripper]

You’ve opened up a can of worms there Z. I could have a lot of fun in this thread if I start going down the track of a particular band(s) weren’t really the same without...?

[Zzzptm]

You’ve opened up a can of worms there Z. I could have a lot of fun in this thread if I start going down the track of a particular band(s) weren’t really the same without...?

Let us do that, then. You said you wanted something to talk about...

Rainbow without Dio, for starters.

[Jack the Stripper]

You’ve opened up a can of worms there Z. I could have a lot of fun in this thread if I start going down the track of a particular band(s) weren’t really the same without...?

Let us do that, then. You said you wanted something to talk about...

Rainbow without Dio, for starters.

Well, Van Halen without Diamond Dave didn’t leave half the hole it left Purple without Blackmore and Lord....Thats like taking Iommi out of Sabbath 

[Zzzptm]

Oooooh, fightin' words!

I know that taking Ward, Butler, Osbourne, Dio, and Appice out of Black Sabbath made for some distinctive recording output that wasn't all that well-received.

As for DP - Come Taste the Band can stand on its own without Blackmore, Slaves and Masters showed that they needed Gillan more than Gillan needed them, and both House of Blue Light and The Battle Rages On showed that Purple needed a guitarist that worked with the rest of the band, not just near them. That concert footage from the Come Hell or High Water show in Birmingham where Blackmore doesn't get on stage until several minutes into the opening song tells the whole sad story.

Morse worked well on guitar and though the band lost their way on Bananas, they certainly worked their way back. Now What ?! is right up there with Purpendicular and Abandon, a real solid album. Infinite slipped a peg or two, but is still good rocking.

Now, DP without anyone *but* Rod Evans... OK, that's a real stinkfest:

Oooooooooooooooooo.... 

[Jack the Stripper]

You’re not under estimating the significance, the connection that Blackmore and Lord had are you Z   and I’m not just talking in the studio.

Those later albums might as well just had Ian Gillan plastered on the front and he invited a couple of his old mates to play on them, like Ozzy got Geezer, because very little else resembles the classic era. Don Airey does his best Lord impersonation but it’s really not his style and Morse is nothing like Blackmore.

From Tyr to Dehumanizer and Forbidden to TDYK and even 13 was like the Important missing parts of the jigsaw puzzle were recovered after being lost under the couch for many years.

[Zzzptm]

OK, I'll agree to that. There's no question that DP without Blackmore-Lord is a much different sounding band.

But back to the worst metal...

... I once had to review an album by Slave Raider, this was 1989. Absolute dreck, so glad to see they didn't have a follow-up album.