Billy Underdog, In Memoriam

[Tyr66]

Billy, my first exchange on the other site with you was a dispute about Joe Satriani !! I didn't know you yet. I had been a little disturbed, not really used to your methods of communication ... 'til the next day you sent me a pm to apologize,  some medical treatment at the time and sometimes had excesses of bad mood ... so futile now.
I must say here that you deeply influenced me on my musical tastes and knew well involuntarily, because you would never wish to direct anybody, to allow me to open myself and discover in another way certain works that I didn't love at the time. The best example is undoubtedly Never Say Die! . You showed me how to listen to drums, feel vibrations outside the current Metal, appreciate Bill Ward and it was not won at the very beginning, that's for sure.
Your incredible general culture in all areas has always amazed me as much as your way of interpreting the history of peoples (hail  your Viking ancestors !!), their philosophies. A contradictory discussion with you was never easy as you could in a few arguments show you that what I thought was true was actually wrong. Not always but often. Such an extraordinaire Northern Man who has enlightened us all in one way or another.
So long Billy, I will play Electric Funeral in your honor but not right now because my heart is too heavy.I hope there is a Life after Life and you have already encountered some of your lost legends and met again your kind dog  ...
I still can't believe it .

[Zzzptm]

If anyone could merge with a mountain and become its spirit, it would be Billy.

[Thelemech]

I am so sad and depressed. I cannot stop thinking about Billy - I still do not really believe that this has happened.
Of all the people in my life it had to be Billy that passed.

I hope that you are well - wherever you are my dear friend.

Much Love ALWAYS!!!

[Typhon]

The following is an excerpt from the thread "Drugs, good and bad ", in which Billy remarks about relapsing because he gets somewhat bored.  I attempt to eliminate his boredom.

You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.

But it was fucking boring too,

You have said this before.  You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish.  Set up a goal for yourself.  Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know.  But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.

^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.

Trying to stay busy...

Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions.  Even at the other place.  But over the past few months, I had not enquired.  Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference.  I don't know.  I think I could have done more.  I am still feeling disgusted over this. 

[Zzzptm]

Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions.  Even at the other place.  But over the past few months, I had not enquired.  Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference.  I don't know.  I think I could have done more.  I am still feeling disgusted over this. 

You could have moved heaven and earth and still ask "could I have done more?" Grief messes with our minds, for sure.

I look at it with the philosophy of I did what I did, and it is what it is. My sorrow is genuine, but my speculation about the might have been is no source of comfort.

[AnnoMundi]

The following is an excerpt from the thread "Drugs, good and bad ", in which Billy remarks about relapsing because he gets somewhat bored.  I attempt to eliminate his boredom.

You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.

But it was fucking boring too,

You have said this before.  You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish.  Set up a goal for yourself.  Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know.  But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.

^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.

Trying to stay busy...

Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions.  Even at the other place.  But over the past few months, I had not enquired.  Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference.  I don't know.  I think I could have done more.  I am still feeling disgusted over this. 

As a former dopefiend it’s hard keeping your mind off the dope and keeping occupied.

[Charger]

Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions.  Even at the other place.  But over the past few months, I had not enquired.  Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference.  I don't know.  I think I could have done more.  I am still feeling disgusted over this. 

You could have moved heaven and earth and still ask "could I have done more?" Grief messes with our minds, for sure.

I look at it with the philosophy of I did what I did, and it is what it is. My sorrow is genuine, but my speculation about the might have been is no source of comfort.

Quite true...also we can't be sure drugs played any role in his death either...

I was always on the drugs are bad stance with Billy but I also know that addiction is the probably the hardest thing to shake off....

[Thelemech]

The following is an excerpt from the thread "Drugs, good and bad ", in which Billy remarks about relapsing because he gets somewhat bored.  I attempt to eliminate his boredom.

You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.

But it was fucking boring too,

You have said this before.  You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish.  Set up a goal for yourself.  Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know.  But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.

^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.

Trying to stay busy...

Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions.  Even at the other place.  But over the past few months, I had not enquired.  Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference.  I don't know.  I think I could have done more.  I am still feeling disgusted over this. 

As a former dopefiend it’s hard keeping your mind off the dope and keeping occupied.

Very very true Elves.

[Charger]

Holy shit...I just looked up what was Billy's last ever post on the forum:

I've never been killed...

Now that seriously gave me chills.

[Ted Sallis]

I'm very sorry to hear the news.  My condolences to everyone who knew Billy.  He contacted me directly early this year re. the issues that were going on elsewhere and informed me of and invited me to join The Community.

He will be very greatly missed I'm sure.

Ted

[Sicko FanAtic]

Joining you in your mourning. He was the one member of this and the other place that I felt a real, personal connection with ( no offense to anybody else!) Even when I stopped participating in the forum for long stretches we would sometimes email back and forth.

We are all better off to have been graced with his warmth, humanity, honesty, humility, intelligence, spirituality, individuality, humor, and friendship. Very sad that he is gone.

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[Scott]

Well this is really hard for me. I used to private message with Billy at BSO about bands to check out. I always looked forward to getting a response from him. After he was banned, we didn't really talk to much on these new forums. I haven't really participated on these forums too much and I wish I would have. This forum will definitely not be the same without him!

Billy would have appreciated just the fact that you took the time to join us here, I'm sure.

[Jack the Stripper]

This is the video I referred to in the other thread. It was a campaign to keep a rehabilitation workshop that Billy had worked at and was very passionate about going after the government had decided to pull funding to it.

For me it sums up a lot of what Billy was about. Caring, compassionate, passionate and as genuine as they come. He always stood up for what was good and fought for the common person.

The video also showcases just how talented Billy was as he wrote and performed all the instruments in the song.

He was truly a one of kind person and I honsetly believe I'm better to have to known him and share in his insights, wisdom, intellect and humour...

So long Billy...I will always remember you with great fondness and whenever I do think of you, it will be with a smile because you always made me smile.

[Vyn]

We are all better off to have been graced with his warmth, humanity, honesty, humility, intelligence, spirituality, individuality, humor, and friendship. Very sad that he is gone.

Agreed. He gave more than he took.

[Sicko FanAtic]

My band will be playing War Pigs tonight, mine and Billy's favorite Sabbath tune. He'll be getting a dedication.

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