The Ashes 2023

[KiloDeltaCharlie]

Australia's Smith went on to complete his hundred but not much support from the tail meant they were all out for 416. Not a bad score by any means but I'm sure they were hoping for more.

Good start to the reply from England 188-2 early in the evening session.

[Jack the Stripper]

Australia won day 1 and England won day 2. Australia will be looking to take some quick wickets in tomorrow mornings session so they can at least have a first innings lead of some sorts. Some humid overcast conditions would help that. England will be looking to get through the tricky morning session without losing quick wickets like Australia did on day 2. The pitch might be at its best for batting on day 3.

This test match is shaping up as another classic!

[KiloDeltaCharlie]

Oh for crying out loud!

[Jack the Stripper]

Australia did well to skittle England in the morning session on Day 3 to hold a 91 run lead going into their 2nd innings. Australia has only lost the 2 wickets at stumps and hold a 221 run lead going into Day 4 but it was slow going, I have to say the pitch didn’t play as good as I thought it would on Day 3 but England bowled exceptionally well without reward. Australia will now have to negotiate a tricky morning session to build on their lead. They’re obviously in a strong position to win this test match but don’t be surprised if they’re bowled out before lunch with a less than 300 run lead such has these morning sessions proved difficult and the way England have been bowling. Australia will have to bowl England out without Nathan Lyon on the last day and probably the rest of the tour.

Still think theres a bit to play out in this test. 

[KiloDeltaCharlie]

I wasn't very hopeful at yesterdays close, but now (mid-afternoon, 301-6) it's much more evenly poised. Duckett and Stokes have dragged England back into it, but I still feel with 70-ish runs still to get if they get Stokes that could be the end of it!

EDIT: Oh why did I tempt fate! Stokes has just gone!

The last pair tried their best and got the target down to just 43, but it was always unlikely.

[Jack the Stripper]

Another great Test match that nearly went down to the wire. Not sure why the English fans were up in arms for, especially the old twats in the long room after Bairstow was run out. Wicketkeeper Carey had a shy at the stumps before Bairstow had left his crease so the ball was not dead at that stage and by the time the ball had arrived at the stumps, Bairstow had walked out of his crease. Rookie error on a list of errors he’s made thoughout the two tests so far. Stokes batted incredibly though and was nearly the hero for England again.

2-0 Australia

[Jack the Stripper]

Apparently the Aussies are copping it big time in England, not just the cricketers either but anyone with an Aussie accent.

Feelings been mutual over here.


Lmao, Enjoyed this write up…

The English cricket team and its fans are having one of the most enjoyable meltdowns in sporting history following Jonny Bairstow forgetting he was in the middle of a cricket test at Lords and going for a little walk.

“We are deeply upset that a lawful action that we have tried many times ourselves has worked against us this time, which feels unfair,” said Professor of Ethics at Oxford University Stuart Broad.

“Given it’s out in black and white, we are now going to bang on about the Spirit of the Game, even though we ignore that too when it suits us.”

Marylebone Cricket Club member Simon Cuffleton-Smiggly-Wright said he was outraged the colonists had used better cricketing ability to defeat England.

“We didn’t conquer most of the globe by allowing the other side to fight fair,” said Cuffleton-Smiggly-Wright.

“And how are you meant to know all these rules? Who came up with them? They seem a bit all over the shop if you ask me. Need a good sorting out.”

Fellow member Geoffrey Beaumont said he would have confronted the Australian players physically in the members if years of inbreeding hadn’t made his bones like glass.

“It’s cheating, pure and simple. When you do something in the game that is within the laws, and the umpires rule it out, that’s cheating.”

“Still, it feels like again we should have won, so technically, we are 2-0 up.”

Australian fans have noted the England cricket team and its fans have successfully thrown their toys out of the cot and something Jonny Bairstow would struggle with.

[Vyn]

You all and your wickets...

"Simon Cuffleton-Smiggly-Wright"

 

[KiloDeltaCharlie]

While some Australian's in the UK may have been picked on, it is quite rare. The only Aussie under fire is Cummins.

It seems quite funny that the only people who don't think it was unsportsmanlike are the Australians. The runout was "technically correct" within the letter of the law, but most would have acknowledged that under the circumstances it was bending sportsmanship to breaking point.

[Jack the Stripper]

It’s only unsportsmanlike when it happens against the poms. Bairstow tried the exact same thing throughout the match but couldn’t hit the stumps lol, so you’d think if anyone would know to ground your bat and look behind at the wicket keeper before leaving your crease it’s him. Even U/12 cricketers know to do it.

England coach McCullum is well versed in poor sportsmanship, he once infamously runout Murali when he went to celebrate with Sangakkara after making his 100. Stuart Broad is another, he once smashed a ball to Steve Smith at first slip but the umpire completely missed it so he decided to stay his ground and not walk. This is before the challenge came in.

[Zzzptm]

NEVER celebrate / walk off / take your eye off the ball too early! ALWAYS wait for the referee / umpire / official in charge to signal the close of play!

I plan to enter a head coaching hall of fame with those two iron rules. I just need a head coaching gig, and I'm in!

[Jack the Stripper]

LMAO

[KiloDeltaCharlie]

The third test started today.

Fairly even so far, I'm not sure it's a great batting wicket. Aussies all out for 263, England reply at 68 for 3 at the close of todays play.

If only we hadn't dropped Marsh when he'd barely got going!

[Jack the Stripper]

Yeah that was a costly dropped catch by Root. I stayed up until 1.30am to watch Marsh make his century, I just couldn’t look away. His hitting was as crisp as I’ve seen in a test match.

I still think England have their noses in front as they still have 7 wickets in hand. The pitch should be better for batting on day 2 with bright sunny weather forecast for the next couple of days.

Be nice if Australia could win a toss in this series. Have lost everyone so far.

[Vyn]

The Bairstow incident made a full article in the Wall Street Journal:

https://www.wsj.com/sports/ashes-cricket-england-australia-rules-controversy-fc18e85c?st=5kya6e183fxco7u&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink