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ROCK AND ROLL! => All Them Other Guys => Topic started by: Charger on February 18, 2024, 11:45:21 AM

Title: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 18, 2024, 11:45:21 AM
...According to the community!

So here we go your 10 least favourite and most disliked album covers of all time!

I'm gonna kick things off with an easy and an obvious one!

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/10/Black_Sabbath_Sabotage.jpg)

I have never been a fan of album covers which just feature a picture of the band but this sure is among the worst ones of them all!
Also the cover has nothing to do with the album...unless you think of it that way that an artwork this bad sabotages the album....
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 18, 2024, 03:38:31 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ed/SabbathBorn.jpg)

Nightmare fuel, this one.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 18, 2024, 03:51:52 PM
Ok, I wouldn't have had Sabotage (not great but I quite like it anyway!), but Born Again is definitely on my list.

#1

I mentioned this as not being a great cover in one of the other recent top 10s we did...

The Damned - So, Who's Paranoid?

(https://i.discogs.com/BfzSHKLKuclbqhUWVEgHsRteja67ic39mi-dVlaN19s/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:593/w:600/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTYzOTY0/MzMtMTYwODEyNzY5/Ny02NDI0LmpwZWc.jpeg)

What were they thinking!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 19, 2024, 04:52:17 AM
Born Again falls into the category it's so bad it's almost good so I went with Sabotage instead which is just plain bad.

Those "empty" covers is also something I have never understood...I guess it's a cheap way to go. Iommi's first solo album is the same thing.


Next one for me is this one:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/94/Guns_n%27_Roses%3B_Spaghetti_Incident%3F_cover.jpg)

Truly not a fan of G'nRs in fact I've become to hate them a bit in the past year or so as they get so overplayed on Radio Rock now it's ridiculous.

And this album cover is one of the worst things ever made!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 19, 2024, 08:47:12 AM
Oh mercy, I hate that GNR cover! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

I'm going also note that there are thousands of amateur album covers with a terrible photo of the artist juxtaposed with frilly writing. They're all bad, but it's not the fault of the person making the album, what with limited budget and experience. It's when the whole dang machine of music running at top form produces garbage that I want to focus my picks on.

So, another one I like to flip over, hide, or otherwise not make part of my music-listening experience is...

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/57/The_Rolling_Stones_-_Sticky_Fingers.png/220px-The_Rolling_Stones_-_Sticky_Fingers.png)

No. Just no. It's iconic, sure. But, uh, dude... seriously? I'd prefer just the words on a white background to this. Maybe I'm in the minority, wanting fewer genitals in my music, but that's how I am...

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 19, 2024, 09:58:59 AM
I'm sure these guys were being ironic when they decided to go with this cover:

Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Love Beach

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/14/ELP_Love_Beach_cover.jpg)

This is a notoriously bad cover, it came out in 1978 at the height of disco... I'm sure they were doing this cover as a middle finger to Saturday Night Fever or the Bee Gees... it's the only explanation!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 19, 2024, 12:12:02 PM
This is a notoriously bad cover, it came out in 1978 at the height of disco... I'm sure they were doing this cover as a middle finger to Saturday Night Fever or the Bee Gees... it's the only explanation!

Actually, no... Atlantic wanted them to do a commercial album, and the band were all not talking to each other. More like they'd just decided to let the record company have its way and be done with it.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 19, 2024, 07:21:09 PM
Speaking of the brothers Gibb...number 10 on my list goes to...

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-TziFAY31Fs0%2FVxsFhI5LN5I%2FAAAAAAACKbc%2FC29RzJw9_7wwP3zE3J-AWRNgRYIVMwb8wCLcB%2Fs1600%2Fworst-album-covers-22.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=9a2e05e07440dbbf22fa97f13eb93119a3fb176cca03810615fc1e7ea44e466d&ipo=images)

It's like the art department just couldn't be bothered.

A: "Oh hey, what's the name of the record we're designing for?"

B: "Life in a Tin Can"

A: "Hrm, how about we show the band INSIDE A TIN CAN?"

B: "Brilliant, let's do it!"
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 19, 2024, 07:26:37 PM
And since I'm behind the times, here's number 9.

I mean, come on. Really? Plus, the small dude doing...something? Sneaking away? Performing a new dance move? They could have at least had the gal with the black eye (painted on obviously, thank god) taking a bite out of his ass or something.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fb8%2F16%2F81%2Fb81681025ef4dc754021ad8da8cb15d7.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=524802a4422a9d41ea2715ba2c11e9e09e2777f63e1053cfcc0bc3a184f974d2&ipo=images)
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 20, 2024, 07:05:27 AM
Poor Jenny indeed!

My 3rd choice

Rush - Rush

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/92/Rush_self_titled.jpg)

Given that it was their debut and they probably didn't have much money for the cover... IS STILL NO EXCUSE FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 20, 2024, 09:31:07 AM
Ozzy hasn't had a whole lot of great covers over the years but this one is most certainly the bottom of the pile!

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b7/Ozzy_-_Ozzmosis_Cover.jpg/220px-Ozzy_-_Ozzmosis_Cover.jpg)

Ozzy filled with mouths! What the actual fuck?!!?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 20, 2024, 10:29:16 AM
That bad Bee Gees cover is not an outlier...

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/Cucumber_Castle.jpg)

The Rush album cover is phoning it in for sure. And that Ozzy cover is, yes, bottom of the pile! Ew!

But I only post the Cucumber Castle photo as an add-on to Vyn's posting, it is not my entry of the day. That goes to:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d2/Whitesnake_-_Lovehunter.jpg)

Yes, it's cool what we can do with airbrushes these days. But, jeez, guys, get a room... and maybe that whole "misogynistic" label has some traction, hmmm?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 20, 2024, 12:05:46 PM
I always laugh when I see that Whitesnake cover. Designed by a 12 year old boy for 12 year old boys.

No. 8: From the land of Croatia, the beguiling Mico Ostojic unleashed the groundbreaking Trofrtaljka on the world in 1972.

I understand budget issues, time constraints, project deadlines, and how those things can combine to result in a lackluster end product. And this album cover may very well have been a victim of those things. But, that is not what is wrong here.

The entire premise is wrong. And, is that a tranquilizer dart in the back of her upper left arm?

Gah.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Flive.staticflickr.com%2F2864%2F12696446464_7774f93e63_z.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=571801f2bb04578038021dfffabf2d8442ffa097ea64f98c6212609bae80531c&ipo=images)

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 20, 2024, 12:24:48 PM
(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f3/44/cd/f344cd193756cdf93a1f65c6bdde2a95.jpg)

Get 'em while they're young, eh, Jim and Tammy?

For those not in the know, these two televangelists got caught up in a massive financial scandal back in the 90s. Their former complex of buildings was abandoned, torn up by hurricanes, and is now owned by a different organization that's using the existing properties to make a lakeside recreational area.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 20, 2024, 12:27:31 PM
Sheesh! That croatian disco tranny cover is horrible...! Horrible I tell ya!

The Whitesnake cover is so campy it's funny...not good but funny!

And as far as little Jimmy sinner goes...well...yikes.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 21, 2024, 06:17:59 AM
Whitesnake put a lot of effort into that cover... but they really shouldn't have bothered!

Pick number 4

The Stranglers - La Folie

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e6/Stranglers_-_La_Folie_album_cover.jpg)

Covers with the band members on are weak to start with, but when the image is distorted.... yuck!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 21, 2024, 06:21:01 AM
^^
Oh my that is pretty disturbing!

My pick #4 goes to another lazy ass cover this time from Candlemass

(https://www.metalexpressradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/CANDLEMASS-Candlemass-678x678.jpg)


I mean come on..you could atleast try and make an effort...that's kind of shit is just lazy man....lazy!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 21, 2024, 07:34:02 AM
I'll say today that any cover depicting naked children is one I want to cover with something else or flip over. Houses of the Holy, Blind Faith, and others I really don't need to be looking at, given that I only have this lifetime to look at stuff. Likewise, once you learn there's a hidden bodily orifice somewhere in the album art, that's it, I can't see anything else but that, I'm done with it. I won't be posting any of that stuff in my worst covers list, but they're definitely entrants on that chart.

So, keeping it light, I'll put forward my entry for to-day:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c9/Phil_Collins_-_Face_Value.png)

Speaking of lazy, this is the cover of not one, but SIX Phil Collins album covers. Basically, Phil's going, "here's me face!" and bang, we got us an album cover! Zero imagination. Now, it's a bit of clever that he re-shot the covers for 2016 remaster reissues, but having old Phil Collins is not much more imaginative than young Phil Collins. Is what it is, I guess...
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 22, 2024, 04:23:08 AM
Agree with Z regarding some of those album covers - naked kids are simply automatically bad. Same with someone's asshole (Type O Negative, come on, wtf was that). I'll throw in there anything depicting actual gore images (Mayhem...).

That Stranglers cover KDC posted, yeah - it makes me think nobody knew what to do so they just twiddled some graphics knobs and deemed it worthy.

Similar to this offering - the general idea isn't bad, but the execution falls flat. You know the designers even thought it sucked, because rather than having the title just printed normally, they did that perspective thing with the text. I can imagine the convo:

A: "This is boring as shit, they don't look to be in love so much as too drunk to stand up"
B: "Yeah, but what if we made the title look like it was coming at the viewer"
A: "Oh hell yes!"

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-lh8KzZoeynA%2FW3xFuQnN5dI%2FAAAAAAADREo%2F1WpDbFfRLvUeqNkaNIoRhjXjCcvB7yn0QCLcBGAs%2Fs1600%2Fworst-album-cover-20.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=8611dfb8b11f0b6fbe6f6848f94fc2fbf81d17e8c008492fd1cab0a3199c44db&ipo=images)
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 22, 2024, 04:34:35 AM
^^^
I thought she'd been murdered... but maybe he's talked her into a coma!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 22, 2024, 06:04:33 AM
Pick No. 5

AC/DC - Back in Black

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3e/ACDC_Back_in_Black_cover.svg/1024px-ACDC_Back_in_Black_cover.svg.png)

To be brutally honest I have never felt that AC/DC have ever made an effort with their covers... but this one is just awful! Yes it has an obituary feel to it which might fit in with the recent death of Bon... but still!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 22, 2024, 06:55:23 AM
^^
We've talked about those blank covers before....

That Jimmy Scott album! :lol: Yeah looks like the dude murdered the lady and is rather satisfied by his actions!


My fifth one is this:

(https://i.discogs.com/hKBv7yEOGDXmipTqhbmqiCzSc8FTXvtsrfTDv5eDS4U/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:592/w:600/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTQ3MzI3/MTktMTQyNjQzNDQ3/NS05NTYwLmpwZWc.jpeg)

Priest's post reunion artworks have been horrible one after another...with the slight exception of Nostradamus...but this one is hands down the worst.
Putting Rob's face on the body of that thingy is just....god I don't even know what...It's either they tried to make peace with Rob by putting his face on the album cover OR Rob's Ego is size of a rather large planetary object and he insisted on having his face on the cover or he wouldn't return...who knows...but regardless the end result is an embarrassment!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 22, 2024, 09:01:43 AM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ce/Heaven_Forbid_cover.jpg)

Blue Oyster Cult was experimenting with AI-generated images back in 1998, I see...
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 22, 2024, 12:00:47 PM
Hahahaha, yeah, that BOC cover is horrendous. "Heaven Forbid," indeed.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 23, 2024, 08:04:41 AM
6th Pick is a dick pic!

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/fi/thumb/5/51/Sacrifice.jpg/640px-Sacrifice.jpg)


I wish I'd know what the fuck was going on in Joe Patagno's head (and Lemmy's for that matter) when he came up with this vulgar garbage? I suppose they thought it to be funny....well it's not. It's just yucky! YUCKY!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 23, 2024, 09:27:34 AM
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51e33-bTM+L._UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg)

^ You can blame that guy for getting genitals into album covers. There's a vagina in the pie and then the fluids and all... ew... there's another Whitesnake cover with a vagina in the snake tongue... and then we come to the Goblin Cock albums...  :naughty:
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 23, 2024, 12:39:02 PM
One of my cousin's had that apple pie record when I was growing up. I was always impressed with the big speaker stack next to the stove. Never occurred to me about the vag-pie until years later when I read about it.

And I actually have a verified real, non-counterfeit copy of that Motorhead album. It is indeed repulsive.

I don't know what kind of business Gary was getting down to, but I guess it involved a telephone booth.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pocket-lint.com%2Fr%2Fs%2F450x%2Fassets%2Fimages%2F134579-gadgets-feature-53-of-the-worst-album-covers-of-all-time-image19-eur5mhwhlk.jpg%3Fv1&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=53554e7614118d706ef2aa5b01cb72ff81eaa85c6c89a57d3da0d5f1e0b4e5c8&ipo=images)

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 23, 2024, 01:13:22 PM
Numero Six!

Metallica - Reload

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9b/Metallica_-_Reload_cover.jpg)

Metallica only ever had a couple of good covers, this choice could easily have been the Black Album, Load or St Anger
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 23, 2024, 02:43:47 PM
Ah yes, cow semen and blood make such a... um... image...
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 24, 2024, 05:29:39 AM
I'll call your cow semen reload and raise it with a hairy vagina

7th is:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/53/Metallica_-_Death_Magnetic_cover.jpg)


I know it supposed to be a grave but come on...it's pretty clear what it is...and it's indeed HORRIBLE!

Metallica sure has had a long lasting run of dreadful covers...Actually I think Masters Of Puppets is the only good one...and even that looks like it was done by an 8 year old...Okay Ride is pretty good too...but that's it. I think actually Metallica is probably the most consistantly bad cover art band in the world. Either they don't give a rats ass or they're actively looking for horrible artists....
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 24, 2024, 07:35:35 AM
Let's suspend the count so we can all bag on Metallica's terrible covers! :rofl:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a5/Hardwired..._To_Self-Destruct_Album_Cover.jpeg/220px-Hardwired..._To_Self-Destruct_Album_Cover.jpeg)

:nono:
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 24, 2024, 08:08:49 AM
Perhaps they don't want to distract fans from the music within?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 24, 2024, 08:11:27 AM
Hahaha! I had actually forgotten just how bad that one was!!

The new one...I'm pretty sure the designer though they lets break some shit up and throw it on the floor and take a pic!

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/08/72_Seasons.jpg)


But aren't covers as bad as these more of a distraction than a good one would ever be?
To me it just seems that they really just don't give a shit...

And sadly though for the most part the music is just barely better than the covers....with the exeption of DM I guess which actually has some really killer tunes.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 24, 2024, 09:16:12 AM
My 7th choice is:

Marillion - Marbles

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5f/Marillion-Marbles.jpg)

It's a bit obvious and boring and a far cry from their early albums.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 24, 2024, 12:10:34 PM
This guy is something of an electronic music pioneer. Emphasis on the word "something". He's from Sweden, and this is his third long player. I can't understand how a group of adults can sit around, look at the proposed art for the album cover, and agree that it's compelling enough to use. Gah. Of course, it's his own record label and maybe he's the only person involved in the entire process, but after several years, some fame and recognition as well as a couple of records under his belt by the time he foisted Dirty Sally on the world, you'd think there'd be more going on.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fvintagenewsdaily.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F06%2F1.bp_.blogspot.comweird-album-covers-1-380da6e2459687f4e985cd780418b68200f87dd5.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=e04bab8b3e23844a0676045541ef17a2be22e2323f2e1eeef7ca918a667061b7&ipo=images)
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 24, 2024, 12:20:29 PM
Hahaha! That is SO Swedish! (or as us Finns used to say before it became unfunny...so gay!)  Good gosh!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 24, 2024, 02:22:21 PM
I thought boobs were banned from this listing!  C:-)
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 24, 2024, 04:36:00 PM
I thought boobs were banned from this listing!  C:-)

I almost didn't post Dirty Sally due to that edict, but upon reflection I determined that the effort he took covering his midriff negates his exposed boobage, and thus the image was posted :)

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 25, 2024, 10:10:03 AM
# 8 for me is this one

(https://i.scdn.co/image/ab67616d0000b273bf7d7eb11351fb6d4ac6dba0)

Black Label Society has always had pretty simple covers but they've made them work pretty well but this one is rather poor. Old nuns playing pool? Really?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 25, 2024, 03:34:42 PM
Ninth choice

New Model Army - No Rest for the Wicked

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/92/NMA_no_rest.jpg)

I'm not entirely sure what it is about this cover I don't like, maybe it's a little simplistic, basic and unimaginative for my tastes. The next album they did had a cover that made my best 10 list... so they can do it!

I do feel some of my choices are less vomit inducing than others here!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 25, 2024, 05:35:50 PM
Numero 7:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fa7%2F39%2F9a%2Fa7399ac7a396915883c275e5a12c1f42.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=9ba408e69b7c597600abd977cb13a3ab9fbe41ad989463e673541e713c09af8f&ipo=images)

I hesitated to post this, but decided to run with it anyway. It exemplifies what I see as a sub-genre of Christian-oriented album covers that for unknown reasons always have a person or people on it, always dressed and/or coiffed in some ridiculous manner, and are titled with verbiage that only the most dense would not see the sexual innuendo. Loretta's flute playing no doubt deserves to be enshrined in vinyl, but they couldn't come up with something better than "Fingering and Praying for the Lord?" No shit? And this one is mild in comparison to some others...

Which brings me to posting my number 8, since I seem to be behind still:

Mr. J.J. Worthington's 1969 release makes the cut because it looks like he just popped a Tic-Tac in his mouth but misjudged the length of his fingers and thus found himself inadvertently fingering his mouth. The look on his face indicates he may be praying. Something along the lines of, "Lord, why am I such a moron?"

Perhaps he's related to Ms. Fudge and her prayerful flute? Some questions should probably never find answers...

(https://i.discogs.com/QzHK0r87kOqm-NNZdXB4fVR1H-O5s4Rm0rg2F73YsdY/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:600/w:597/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTU0NDky/NjItMTM5MzY1MDg2/OS0xNDA0LmpwZWc.jpeg)

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 25, 2024, 06:38:09 PM
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71CNdPdaX0L._UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg)

Now, the words "Heavy Metal" and a lady with a sword on a concrete albatross is gonna get my attention. Black Sabbath, yeah!  :yes: Blue Oyster Cult, heavy!  :rockon: Cheap Trick, um...  :think: Devo...  :rolleyes:

Donald Fagen???  :naughty:

And then it just goes downhill after that. There are names on the list that are the antithesis of metal. There are bands that are not A-list outfits, including some that have seen much better days (Looking at Grand Funk Railroad, there...) In short, the goods being delivered don't match up to the cool title or the AD&D-influenced artwork. (And it was *A*D&D for all the cool RPGers back in that day, none of that basic stuff, mmmkay?) Truth in packaging this is NOT.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 26, 2024, 07:45:09 AM
^^
For a movie called Heavy Metal that sure had a lot of non heavy metal music. Haven't seen that movie since the 90s...might have to check it out again...


My second to last pick is this one:

(https://www.metalexpressradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/METAL-CHURCH-Hanging-In-The-Balance-678x678.jpg.webp)

Mike Howe got so upset with the record label and management for choosing a cover this hideous that he quit music business all together...
And I can understand that...this surely is one HIDEOUS cover!
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 26, 2024, 04:57:15 PM
Oh yeah, that is a HORRIBLE COVER!!! Bleah!

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81DXQP6KmiL._SL1500_.jpg)

Omega is one of those bands that existed on the other side of the Iron Curtain, playing heavy rock for the Hungarians along with Skorpio and Lokomotiv GT. They're legends of rock in that part of the world. If this was a cover from the 70's on the label managed by the Hungarian Ministry of Culture, I'd totally understand and forgive all. But this is for a 2021-issued "best of" album! Surely these guys deserved better than a picture that, well, raises more questions than it provides answers...
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 26, 2024, 05:17:22 PM
Choice #9

Aerosmith - Get A Grip

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9f/GetAGrip_Aerosmithalbum.jpg)


God awful cover from a group that can sometimes do good.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 26, 2024, 05:56:09 PM
@Charger - I don't even know WTF they were thinking when they rolled that out as a Metal Church cover. That's...an insult to humanity in general.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 27, 2024, 03:47:58 AM
Indeed it was.

That Aerosmith cover is pretty damn bad as well...sheesh! And the Omega one...well....looks like something out of the USSR!


My final pick is also probably my least favourite cover of all time...mainly because up to this point Maiden had nothing but great covers...but this started the decline although they never reached this hights of lows again...

(https://media.s-bol.com/qrJ1KE3D3JNk/gRPqoG/550x552.jpg)

The CGI in this is just horrible! The characters look like something out of a 10$ budget old computer game. And Eddie...my god what they did to Eddie! I can only imagine what Derek Riggs was thinking when he saw this one!
Oh how the mighty can fall.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 27, 2024, 04:16:43 PM
Searched for terrible heavy metal album covers...

(https://townsquare.media/site/366/files/2015/10/Dethkorps-Metal-Tit.jpg)

Now I'm wondering if this is a terrible cover for a heavy metal album, or a cover for a terrible heavy metal album...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGCjNeBWAAc is the album, you can judge for yourself. I think it's a little of both, really.  :twitch:
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 27, 2024, 05:10:54 PM
Never been a fan of the Dance of Death cover, good album mind!



Choice #10

Yes - Tormato

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5c/Tormato_%28Yes_album_-_cover_art%29.jpg)

It's Yes... where's the Roger Dean cover? Why do we have this nonsense?

I might have left this off the list as just a dishonourable mention but I can't find the ghastly cover for The Planets by Holst conducted by Herbert von Karajan. Most versions have lovely covers depicting the planets with fantastic realistic images... not mine, it has a cheap looking pixelated image which is frankly embarrassing. I'll post it if I can find it online.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on February 27, 2024, 06:34:11 PM
LOL...Metal Tit. And I never liked that Yes cover either, or the title. WTF, talk about circling the drain.

The next one is fairly "meh", except for the fact that Bach's eye's aren't positioned to where they are looking at the lady (Rosy, I am assuming). Rather, it looks like he is inspecting her armpit, specifically.

Now, maybe armpits were his "thing", but that one little detail turned an otherwise unremarkable, if kind of goofy, album cover into the number 9 offering on my list.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.8vT5i637SWtgvrZn77XrqwHaHa%26pid%3DApi&f=1&ipt=43a17c32815b64f0ca85c4f6be780d7606cbef11954eda88bdf9d2fe8fc86c33&ipo=images)

And since I've been double-fisting these in this thread, I'll drop my number 10 right here, right now:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fqph.fs.quoracdn.net%2Fmain-qimg-3521772fab67d112321c34b03d81b9a2&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=1c7b1ab5892ff651af727879feaf262fb7b15c791e8c357eb536f779ccfbc16f&ipo=images)

Everything about this album cover is grotesque to me. The title of the album is better suited for something from the Melvins, the layout is sophomoric, lack of color is asinine (yeah, it's an old record but they knew about colors even in 1964), and the picture is exploitative.

A: "Hey Greg, let's buy this record, it will be like having a freak show in our own home!"
G: "Oh hell yes!"

I get that Alberta Baker was a reverend, and her entire life revolved around her playing keys despite her disability, but it is genuinely nothing more than a freak show advert. A certain amount of dignity should have been injected into the release - give it a normal title, leave out the note about true miracle of God, and put some pastoral scene on it, with color. As it stands it is just pure, unadulterated donkey shit.

Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 27, 2024, 07:59:01 PM
I'm going through old Cashbox magazines for playlist ideas and there are some albums advertised in those pages that are... uhhh... ummm...

(https://i.discogs.com/iUY_lYvRBc98Pq4Xm50y8Ue14TataZPzBB26yh7S4Rw/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:595/w:600/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTE0MjUw/NTUtMTU4ODE1OTY4/NC0xODQ1LmpwZWc.jpeg)

The band went straight to nowhere after that ad in Cashbox, played maybe 30 gigs total the year after the release and then went their ways. One guy wound up at Alembic, making instruments for The Grateful Dead.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on February 29, 2024, 09:00:29 AM
Soooo? Where do we go from here?

My thoughts...

Top 10 favourite opening songs on an album
Top 10 favourite closing songs on an album
Top 10 favourite title track from an album

Your ideas are welcome. :)
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on February 29, 2024, 09:06:51 AM
All of those! ;D
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on February 29, 2024, 02:37:14 PM
Jethro Tull has two albums where the opening song is the closing song and also the title track! :D

How about "10 metal songs I like that I don't think anyone else here knows about"? Score points for obscurity, score even more points for the someone else liking the song you posted after your suggesting it?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on March 01, 2024, 03:14:28 PM
We can disqualify Jethro Tull then  :-X

I couldn't do 10 metal songs, but 10 rock songs and variants might be doable.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on March 01, 2024, 03:23:09 PM
Metal/hard rock/rock works for me, as well.
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on March 04, 2024, 08:05:51 AM
I'm not sure I could come up with 10 songs like that...I don't know a lot of obscure one hit wonder metal/rock bands at all...
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on March 04, 2024, 09:44:47 AM
Then let's go with the 10 best non-Jethro-Tull opening/closing/title songs. :D
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on March 04, 2024, 09:53:04 AM
That would work. :D
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: KiloDeltaCharlie on March 04, 2024, 09:56:41 AM
I presume 1 topic at a time?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Zzzptm on March 04, 2024, 10:11:30 AM
I presume 1 topic at a time?

Especially if opening and closing songs are the criteria. :D
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Vyn on March 04, 2024, 01:37:34 PM
So...an album that has the best opening song and the best closing song. Opener might be the best song ever, but if the closer is lame, it doesn't make the list. Gotta be both, correct?
Title: Re: 10 Worst albums covers in history!...
Post by: Charger on March 04, 2024, 02:39:02 PM
That might be a fun idea as well... I think we were just thinking about making two seperate ones for best opener and best closer...

But picking albums with killer boths might be even better...harder for sure though.