Losing a good friend

[Thelemech]

As most of you know I am a bit of a hermit and I do not have very many friends. I however did have one good friend left until today.
I talked to him via email and he is incredible angry with me for no real reason. I was suppose to go over to his place early this morning but I slept in. This has lead to my "friend" exploding with anger and basically ending our friendship.
If he is doing this for such a petty reason maybe I am better off without him.

You guys are the only friends I have left.

I must admit that the loneliness is starting to get to me.

[Tyr66]

Without really knowing the underlying reasons, people are so fickle and moody. So other than a very few close people that I share a blood connection with, I've learned not to trust anyone at all. Too many disappointments like yours have led me inexorably to an isolation that doesn't bother me that much. The moments of solitude can weigh heavily but whatever, I avoid a lot more problems like that.
Stay strong bro '!

[Thelemech]

  thanks Tyr66.

[Vyn]

Hey Thel, sorry to hear that. You've certainly learned something valuable about his character.

I obviously don't know anything about any of it, but as they used to say - fuck him and the horse he rode in on lol.

I think Tyr said it best - "Stay strong bro"!

We'll be here for you and I can't speak for anyone else but I don't mind if you sleep in. 

[Jack the Stripper]

Doesn’t sound like something that can’t be sorted out in a man to man mature way if you still want to remain friends with him. Has he acted like this before? Maybe something else is bothering him and he just took it out on you?

Try not to let it get to you buddy. You always have your friends on here to reach out to. We are all just a pm away but please know you are loved and appreciated here.

[Charger]

I know your pain on this subject more than you know buddy!

I don't really have any friends outside of this place....

Loneliness is a bitch of a burden to carry.

I do hope you and your friend will be able to sort this out...and if not then maybe he didn't consider you as much of a friend as you did him after all...which is horrible as well...another thing I do know quite a lot about.

Stay strong and remember we're all here for you buddy!

[Thelemech]

Thank you all for your words and support. It is good to know that I have true friends here at the Community.

He has done things like this in the past but never was he so angry and insulting as this time.

Much love my friends and live long and prosper all of you!!

 

[Zzzptm]

That's some pain there, I'm so sorry, Thel.

[Scott]

Thel,

As a solitary person myself I know how hard it can be, but if your friend reacted that way simply because of something minor like you sleeping in (and particularly if he's done this kind of thing before) then it's a character flaw on his part. It sucks, but it's something that he needs to work on. You're better off without that kind of negativity in your life even if it's hard right now.

You'll always have us.

[Thelemech]

Thank you Zzzptm and Scott

The pain is real but it will subside. This will be hard to walk away from but hopefully time will heal the wound.

[Typhon]

Don't let this guy get to you, Thel.  If he was really a true friend, then he would not have acted that way.  I rarely get bothered by loneliness, even though I have been on my own for decades.  But when those rare feelings do creep in, I play any of the Great 8, and I feel better almost instantly.  Maybe it will work for you too.
 

[Zzzptm]

I've seen that being able to find common experiences can help get over the pain, so I'll share one here.

I'm in Central Texas right now, about to move a friend of my wife's (my friend too, but I know her through my wife) up to Dallas to live with us for a while. Her employer is shutting down business and she can't afford rent where she is without that work. She's moving in with us because of three reasons:

1. We have a spare bedroom over the garage that has a full bath and mini-kitchen.
2. We've known her forever: me since 1987, my wife since childhood.
3. The story I'm about to tell.

At first, she didn't want to move to Dallas. She's more of a country person than a city person. When she found out the job was going away and there weren't any immediate prospects for employment, she reached out to her sister. Her sister had a spare room, also, and lives out in the country. Well, her sister said, "no."

That was a massive blow. Not only was this someone that she trusted and depended on for support, but who is also family. It was totally crushing to hear those two letters. There were reasons that came afterward, and I'm not going to judge them. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make, but made it was and the damage done. It was depressing, demoralizing, and debilitating.

When we got our house last year, my wife and I both felt that we would one day be offering up part of it to help out family or friends fallen on hard times. We were glad to offer up our space without hesitation, but that doesn't do away with hearing "no" from one's own family. We're doing what we can to help her over that blow, and I have some small idea of what you seem to be feeling, Thel. I don't know you fully, and don't presume to know you fully, but I know you enough to see the pain of my friend in the pain of another.

As Seneca said, "Nature has created both day and night." Our lives will have opposites in them, and nothing is entirely one or the other. The bad thing about good times is that the come to an end: but the good thing about bad times is that they also come to an end.

And Typhon is spot on in his comments: in music, one has access to the most amazing healing possible - a song can give us good feelings, and the only cost to us is the time well spent.

[Thelemech]

Thanks Ty - you are right - he was not a true friend. I will give the great eight a try 

Thanks Zzzptm for the very relatable story, and thanks for the concern.

[Typhon]

I was just wondering, Thel, if anything changed with this former friend of yours after all these years?

You don't have to respond if it brings back bad memories.

[Thelemech]

I don't talk to him anymore and he has cut off all communication with our entire social circle
He did send me a card for my birthday last June which came out of nowhere
He has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and has basically disappeared not wanting to talk with anyone
I just hope for the best for him but I will admit it has been hard going through it all