I meant it when I said that my wife and I were going to be travelling to Iceland and we'd come over and have a visit. Fuck.
Some wonderful thoughts & memories of Billy so far. I will post mine later. I’ve been walking around in a daze at work this morning. Finding it very hard to concentrate and be motivated. I’m very shocked and saddened at what we’ve learnt today. Thank you Vyn for your slueth work and alerting us. I know Billy posted some videos of his band somewhere, can’t remember if it was here or elsewhere. Maybe we can follow up some more info on what happened through his band channels. Don’t think it was posted via a YouTube link.
Damn, this sucks! It really sucks!
I'm sorry for the outrage, but anger is the typical reaction I have to this type of news. The guy was around 25 years younger than me. I better pause here.
You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.But it was fucking boring too,
You have said this before. You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish. Set up a goal for yourself. Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know. But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.
^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.
Trying to stay busy... :P
Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions. Even at the other place. But over the past few months, I had not enquired. Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference. I don't know. I think I could have done more. I am still feeling disgusted over this. :(You could have moved heaven and earth and still ask "could I have done more?" Grief messes with our minds, for sure.
The following is an excerpt from the thread "Drugs, good and bad ", in which Billy remarks about relapsing because he gets somewhat bored. I attempt to eliminate his boredom.You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.But it was fucking boring too,You have said this before. You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish. Set up a goal for yourself. Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know. But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.
Trying to stay busy... :P
Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions. Even at the other place. But over the past few months, I had not enquired. Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference. I don't know. I think I could have done more. I am still feeling disgusted over this. :(
Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions. Even at the other place. But over the past few months, I had not enquired. Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference. I don't know. I think I could have done more. I am still feeling disgusted over this. :(You could have moved heaven and earth and still ask "could I have done more?" Grief messes with our minds, for sure.
I look at it with the philosophy of I did what I did, and it is what it is. My sorrow is genuine, but my speculation about the might have been is no source of comfort.
The following is an excerpt from the thread "Drugs, good and bad ", in which Billy remarks about relapsing because he gets somewhat bored. I attempt to eliminate his boredom.You can eventually get to a point where you don't keep going back.But it was fucking boring too,You have said this before. You must occupy your mind with something else, something you want to accomplish. Set up a goal for yourself. Perhaps you are not as ambitious as I am, I don't know. But I always found that staying busy minimizes negative thoughts.^^^ Today i've tidied and cleaned the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and shed, taking alot of crap to the dump, tidied up in the closet and three drawers of clothes, hung up birdfeeders and some pictures that've been standing 'round forever and put stacks of books back in the shelves. And done the dishes and taken out the garbage. After i've had a joint break now i'm going to go through two drawers of papers that've piled up over the last handful of years and refurnish the TV, Stereo and video game consol cabinets.
Trying to stay busy... :P
Every now and then I use to check with him to see how he was doing with his addictions. Even at the other place. But over the past few months, I had not enquired. Maybe if I had, it would have made a difference. I don't know. I think I could have done more. I am still feeling disgusted over this. :(
As a former dopefiend it’s hard keeping your mind off the dope and keeping occupied.
I've never been killed... :P
Well this is really hard for me. I used to private message with Billy at BSO about bands to check out. I always looked forward to getting a response from him. After he was banned, we didn't really talk to much on these new forums. I haven't really participated on these forums too much and I wish I would have. This forum will definitely not be the same without him!
We are all better off to have been graced with his warmth, humanity, honesty, humility, intelligence, spirituality, individuality, humor, and friendship. Very sad that he is gone.
Weird how Billy had that patch on the front of his jacket that says “Don’t take life to serious, it’s not permanent “.
Weird how Billy had that patch on the front of his jacket that says “Don’t take life to serious, it’s not permanent “.
Yeah that was pretty much Billy's life philosophy....not a bad one I might add.
Jack's video was better, live action.
Isn't that the video I sent you a week ago Thel?
Isn't that the video I sent you a week ago Thel?
Oh....Amazingly my exact thoughts. Each and every word. :yes:
You know it's hard to come here without thinking about Billy...he was such an important part of putting this together. Hell without him this place wouldn't exist. So I personally owe him a lot.
And as such I am ashamed of myself for not remembering this day...
There quite often comes a topic on here that I instantly start pondering "what would Billy say?" and there are quite a few topics I'd like to talk to him about...and can't...and that still makes me sad.
And Kilo...my thoughts are with you and your family as well.