The Community
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Charger on January 13, 2023, 04:47:33 AM
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More interesting This or That's for the masses!
Smoked Fish or Fried Fish?
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As long as it's not Scandinavian rotten fish!!
Fried fish
Sausages...
BBQ or Shallow Fried
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BBQ - Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
Sweden or Denmark?
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Denmark...never Sweden...nothing good ever comes from sweden!
Arizona or North Dakota?
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Arizona
Colorado or Idaho?
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Colorado I guess
If we're naming random places...
Yorkshire or Lancashire
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Yorkshire
Iuventus or Real Madrid?
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Real Madrid
Bayern Munchen or Ajax?
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Ajax
Stalin or Mao?
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Stalin, if Armando Iannucci ever makes a film called the "Death of Mao" then I might reconsider!
James May
Cars of the People or Our Man in...
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Cars of the People
James May
Man Lab or Oh Cook!
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Oh Cook was brilliant! Man Lab was so long ago I can't even remeber it anymore! :D
Smart watch or old school watch?
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Old School Watch... but still digital!
CD / DVD / BD...
Their days are number or They'll be around a while yet
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Numbered days
Hotel room slightly too hot in the winter or slightly too cold in the summer?
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Too cold...I can't sleep if it's too hot.
Multi vitamin pill or drink?
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Pill, I don't like green liquids with bits of leaves in them.
One of the Great Questions, put to us by The Office:
A moderate amount of good pizza or a large amount of mediocre pizza?
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Moderate ammount of good pizza.
Two cups of mild coffee or one cup of strong?
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Strong coffee (and I'll go back refills if available!)
Sugar or Sweeteners
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Sugar but I actually take my coffee black.
grind your own beans or k-cup?
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GRIND DEM BEENZ!
Manual French press or fancy coffee machine?
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Fancy machine everyday!
Acients!
Egypt or Greece
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Egypt
Opening album one two punch
The Ides of March/Wrathchild or Into the Lungs of Hell/Set the World Afire?
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Megadeth, 100%, love that combo!
Fight Fire with Fire / Ride the Lightning or Screaming for Vengeance / You've Got Another Thing Coming?
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Priest all the way obviously
Embryo -> Children Of The Grave or The Orchid -> Lord Of This World?
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Embryo/CotG
Iron Man/Paranoid or Sabbath Bloody Sabbath/A National Architect
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I think it is only right to go with SBS / ANA
Hole in the Sky thru Symptom of the Universe or Sign of the Southern Cross thru The Mob Rules
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Oooh, that one wounds me to answer!
But I must go with side one of Mob Rules. I simply must.
Neon Knights thru Heaven and Hell or I Don't Know through Suicide Solution?
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Neon Knights through Heaven And Hell...that's not even a close race...not even close!
Side A of Machine Head or Side A of Sabotage?
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AGH, another one that wounds me to answer!
But I needs my Machine Head more than my Sabotage. That's the way it be.
Fireball-No No No or Smoke on the Water-Lazy?
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^^^
Wrong answer! :P
Fireball/No No No
Star Wars Films:
Phantom Menace thru Revenge of the Sith or Force Awakens thru The Rise of Skywalker
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The first three were less painful to watch than the last three. I'll take those.
Sisters of Mercy or Siouxsie and the Banshees?
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Siouxsie and the Banshees
Motley Crue or Poison
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Crue
Cure or Joy Division?
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Ugh... Cure I guess...
Thin Lizzy or Twisted Sister?
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Thin Lizzy
Be allergic to cats or allergic to dogs?
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Well I AM crazy allergic to dogs!!
An oddball pet:
A Rabbit or A Ferret?
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Rabbit
Trombone solo or piccolo solo?
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I can't imagine a trombone solo, a piccolo might work.. so that!
Background music
String Quartet or Pianist
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Pianist
A show with a theme song played on a bluesy acoustic guitar or a theme song done by a full orchestra with a rock band?
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Full Orchestra please.
Star Wars Theme or Indiana Jones Theme?
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Star Wars Theme.
Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Peep Show?
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Not seen either! But Philly has Danny DeVito and a friend on FB was an extra in the last series, but then Peep Show has David Mitchell and Robert Webb. I'll go with Peep Show but feel bad about Philly!
Art
Pop Art or Bauhaus
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Bauhaus, I like the clean lines that anticipate Brutalism.
Standing on an empty street corner... no people, no traffic in sight... it's a completely still urban moment...
Under the noonday sun or a moonless night?
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Brutalism.
The architectural choice of communists everywhere!
Noonday sun. Just 'cuz.
Safety at all costs or freedom with risk?
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Freedom with risk
Jordan or LeBron?
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Jordan...
A live album with a bad sound and a killer preformance or a live album with a great sound but mediocre preformance?
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Killer performance, I can try to fix the tracks in Audacity. :smug:
Refrigerator and no microwave or freezer only, but with a microwave?
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Fridge for sure...I do use a lot of microwave as well but I think I could do with out it but not without a refrigerator...never
Did the US just start a galactic war by shooting down alien crafts or were they just more of chinese weather balloons filled with swamp gas?
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Those were all Chinese, just look into this light here and everything will make sense...
(https://media.giphy.com/media/65NO1TrKrJUT6/giphy.gif)
The Herbie Hancock Quartet or the Joe Cuba Sextette?
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I've heard of Herbie Hancock!!
It's worse than that they're dead Jim!
Prince or Michael Jackson
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Michael Jackson
Suffer from frequent bladder incontinence or let Donald Trump sexually assault you for a week?
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I'll take the bladder incontinence, I've been making plans on dealing with that. Dignity intact with that route. :smug:
Road trip with a Super Bowl winner! Who's riding shotgun with you, Andy Reid or Patrick Mahomes?
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Reid because he probably knows where the good places to eat are located <ahahahaha>
juinor mint or rollo?
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If Rollo's are the same in the US as they are in the UK, then those... and I now have a hankering for some Rollo's but it's nearly midnight and the shops will be shut!!
Christmas...
In the Summer or In the Winter
(yes, I know Summer is what Jack gets!!)
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Summertime Christmas, I want to be in seasonal solidarity with my Southern brothers! I know some guys in Chile and they also have a steaming hot Christmas.
(And Vyn had the correct answer! Coach Reid knows chow!)
You get a slice of cake with chocolate frosting and taste a hint of...
orange or raspberry?
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Raspberry...don't really like Orange in anything sweet...well...in anything really.
Chewing gum or a breath mint when you're having a bad breath day?
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Gum, sugarless gum. Good for getting the bacteria off the teeth.
Hard cheese or soft cheese?
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I like hard
Button breaks on your pants:
Replace the button or scrap the pants and buy new ones?
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Get a new button, especially after watching the video Vyn shared on planned obsolescence. :)
An opium den or a castle of hashish addicts?
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I'll choose by location... Castle!
Quiz Night or Karaoke Night
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Quiz night for me!
A month on Socotra or Easter Island?
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Easter Island...lots of mystery there...would easily see spending a month there.
Digging for an ancient tomb in Egypt or digging for an ancient temple in central America?
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I'll take Egypt, more well-known bugs there. :)
Close the gap or bridge the chasm?
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Bridge the Chasm
River Deep or Mountain High
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Mountain - I can climb better than I can swim!
Crew member on the Nantucket whaling ship Globe (see what I did there) under Captain Worth or crew member on the English explorer HMS Erebus under Captain Franklin?
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I'm more of an explorer than a whaler so I'll board the HMS Erebus.
Crewman aboard the Enterprise under Captain Kirk or Captain Picard?
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(I would have gone with the Globe, first three voyages went all right, as long as I'm off with the Sandwich Island deserters in the fourth, I avoid the mess... Franklin's command of the Erebus did not end well, not at all...)
Kirk, I'm old school like that.
To be a prospector in the Alaska gold rush or in the Australian gold rush?
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Warmer and (most likely) less snowy in Australia so I'll go there please.
Classical concert with Piano or violin?
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Piano
You can bring back one deceased performer for one evening of jamming and hanging out at your home:
Randy Rhoades or Jimi Hendrix?
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Without question Randy Rhoads
Shower in the morning before work or in the evening after work?
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When I worked I didn't have time to shower in the morning, so the evening and hoped the effect lasted!
Jurassic or Triassic
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Triassic, underrated era in my view.
Birds chirping in the morning or insects humming at night?
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Ugh...both pretty annoying if you're trying to sleep....but getting some sleep with an insect humming around is virtually impossible...with some luck you might not wake up at the birds....
Buy a 70000$ turntable or 70000$ car?
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Turntable!
A base on the Moon or A base on Mars
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Moon
Drifting slowly on a canal or getting a chance to take a mad supercar around a track of your choice?
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I'll take the mad supercar please!
So...on that track
Bugatti Chiron or Koenigsegg Agera?
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Love me some Bugatti, the history, the style, the legacy.
Some comedy literature...
Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams
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Adams (admittedly I've never read anything from Pratchett)
Learn a new folk instrument!
Jew's Harp or Spoons?
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Jewharp (or Khomuz, as it's called in Siberia), which I've actually done. :D
Sam & Dave or Hall & Oates?
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Hall & Oates
Expensive amp with cheap speakers or Cheap amp with Expensive speakers?
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Cheap amp with expensive speakers
Northern soul or Southern rock?
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The Northern Soul I'm familiar with is 60s dance music from the north of England... not my thing. I can also think of several Southern Rock acts who are splendid!
Glenn Hughes or Joe Bonamassa
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Hughes
Ian Gillan or Bruce Dickinson?
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Yikes....As singers I think I value both equally but Bruce can be a bit of a wanker at times even on stage and Ian is pure class so I'll go with him.
Speaking of wankers on stage...which is the bigger one
Ritchie Blackmore or Yngwie Malmsteen?
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Ooooooooh... I'll go with Blackmore, based on his last tour. :P
You're driving and eating... unfortunately, it's either hot soup or spaghetti you have to eat as you drive! Which one?
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Spaghetti is probably going to be a little less messy!
Dwarf Planets...
Should have full planet status or It's probably correct as it is.
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Adjectives be damned, a dwarf planet is a planet!
Be a genuis in a third-world country, or average in a first-world country?
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Average in the first world.
Cruising with Tom Cruise or jonesing with Tom Jones?
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Tom Jones
On a similar theme
Robbing with Margo Robbie or Kidnaping with Nicole Kidman
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I'll Rob with Robbie.
Drive a Chevy with Harrison Ford or a Ford with Chevy Chase?
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A Ford with CC
Charlie Sheen or Emilio Estevez
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Emilio
Suffer from entomophobia (fear of insects) or ornithophobia (fear of birds)?
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I think insects for the most part are gross anyways so I could live with an irrational fear of them too. Birds are cute (when they are not chirpping away at 5am that is)
Drive through a desert in a Lada Niva or drive through the tundra in a '65 Mustang convertible?
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I'll take the desert in a Lada, might even name it something like "Oliver"!
Madagascar or Java?
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Madagascar as it is waaayyy less crowded that Java (which has a bigger population that the whole of Russia!)
Trash Reality TV
With Z rated celebrities or No hope nobodies
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Z-rated. If I'm going to wallow in shit might as well go all the way!
"Tit's up" or "Broke-dick dog"?
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Tit's Up!
Kill 'em All or Killing Is My Business...and Business Is Good?
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Hmmm, while Hetfield's vocals were weak, musically Kill 'Em All is fully realised.
Back in Black or The Black Album (Metallica's)
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Well that's not even a race. Back In Black ofcourse!
Rush's 2112 or Queensryche's Operation Mindcrime?
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Without wishing to sound repetitive... it's not even a race: 2112
We Rock or Stand Up and Shout
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We Rock!
Peace Sells or Symphony Of Destruction?
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Peace Sells
Steely Dan or The Eagles?
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The Eagles
Punk killed Prog or Prog killed Prog
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Prog killed Prog
Number of the Beast or Master of Puppets?
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NOTB
Bluegrass or Bakersfield country music?
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Bakersfield, please. I like me some Buck Owens and Red Simpson. :)
Foot massage or face massage?
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Ugh...I've got tickly feet so I don't want anyone touching those so I guess face then allthough that sounds pretty awkward as well...
Fruit candy of chocolate?
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Chocolate!
Skype or Zoom
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Skype. Teams is what I use ALL THE TIME for work, but Skype for a few personal things.
jean shorts or basketball shorts?
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Jean shorts.
Jimmy Buffet or Kenny Rogers?
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Jimmy Buffet, all day, over KR.
Downhill skiing in Switzerland or big wave surfing in Hawaii?
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Surfing, duuuude!
Pauly Shore or Carrot Top?
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Ye Gods!! Neither! Tosses coin... Carrot Top it is!
Makemake or Eris
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OMG Eris! With her moon Dysnomia, the perfect blend of strife and lawlessness! RARRRR!
Special Theory of Relativity or General Theory of Relativity?
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I'd like the *special* theory, please. Always nice to order off-menu.
Oh noes! A major AI chatbot got hacked! Was it because of...
... a programmer who took shortcuts that went around security precautions ... OR ... code that went into production before being fully checked that contained an exploit?
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Programmers always take shortcuts!
AI takes over the world
Destroys humanity by launching all nukes or creates a virus that kills everyone?
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Creates virus that kills everyone. That's very plausible, and the infrastructure that supports the AI remains undamaged.
One for the money or two for the show?
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One for the money. Gotta get PAID, know what I mean?
Quincy Jones or Isaac Hayes?
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I quite like Hayes
You're in the US Secret Service, your given a vintage Dodge Viper but a shortage of funds mean your equivalent of Q can only provide you with...
Passenger Ejector Seat or Machine Guns in the Headlights
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Headlight 50-cals baby! Ejector seat will mean a permanent sunroof if I have to use it.
Chicken fried in grease used to fry fish or fish fried in grease used to fry chicken?
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Wouldn't really see either working out but I guess Chicken would give out less flavour so Fish fried in Chicken juices would be my choice.
Oysters or calamari?
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Calamari unless you want to see how completely I can wreck a WC...
Congrats on your new job with a park service!
Be a park ranger in a mountainous park in a desert area or a forested area?
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Mountains all the way!
You're a Daredevil, you do
Motorbike Jumps & Stunts or Aircraft Acrobatics
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Aircraft acrobatics.
Uh-oh, you've been kidnapped by the Communist Chinese! You're given a choice to...
Serve in a border guard unit along the border with Mongolia
OR
Staff a border crossing checkpoint on the North Korean border
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Mongolia! What an insane scenery! And ofcourse the worlds greatest vodka comes from there as well so could have some of that to pass the time...
Watching Poker or Watching Darts?
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Darts.
Snooker or billiards?
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Billiards is NOT a spectator sport! Snooker I think in small chunks!
Epcot or The Magic Kingdom
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Epcot
Apricots or Plums?
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Plums
Pears or Mangos?
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Pears.
Shelly Duvall as Muhammad Ali or RuPaul as Neil Armstrong?
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Love these movie pitches! I'll take RuPaul as Neil Armstrong. And have him plant a freak flag on the moon! :P
Doing a sensitive, touching biopic about the last days of Elizabeth II. I'm thinking for the lead, we go with either Schwarzenegger or Stallone... which would you pick?
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Schwarzenegger, to respect her heritage!
Phil Anselmo doing "Like A Virgin" or Madonna doing "Cemetery Gates"
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I'd like Anselmo doing the Madonna cover for $400, Alex!
You're gonna see the world! The *whole* world! Do you use valuable luggage space to pack your own toilet paper or do you rely upon the kindness and attentiveness of bathroom attendants around the world?
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I only use one brand of toilet paper which is extra soft so I'll rent a van just to carry the toilet paper!!
Sore throat that goes on and on and on and on or a high fever that lasts 2 days and then it's all gone?
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Fever for 2 days!
Tesla Model Y or Chevy Bolt?
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Chevy
Music on YouTube or Documentary on YouTube
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Music, but I'm doing the playlist.
Tarzan of the Apes or George of the Jungle?
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Tarzan
American Indians or Australian Aborigines?
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American Indians
Mount McKinley or Pike's Peak?
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Pike's Peak has a hill climb! I'd love to see that!
TicTacs or Mentos?
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Mentos
Time for a stroll in the park - late morning or early evening?
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Late morning I think
Monopoly or Chess
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Chess. It actually comes to an end.
Monopoles or superheavy stable elements?
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Monopole - talk about changing everything!
Attend a Rolling Stones concert ~ 1972 or attend an AC/DC concert ~ 1982?
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Stones in 1972
See the Cal Jam in 1974 but have Ritchie Blackmore set your hair on fire because he doesn't like the way you look at him
OR
See Hellfest 2015 but have Lemmy set your hair on fire because you asked him politely to do so
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Can I just NOT have my hair set on fire please. I certainly won't ask for it, and if Blackmore does it anyway then I'm suing!
King Charles III Coronation:
Watch it avidly or Avoid like the plague
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Couldn't care less to be honest...I understand the traditional meaning behind it all but it just doesn't affect me in any way...
Morning coffee
Brew just the exact ammount you'll drink or do a whole pot and just throw the rest away?
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Amount I'll need, let's be careful out there!
This is an actual real estate question I came across...
Saw a house for sale, a HUGE house with a substantial front yard. Turns out, it's just over 4 acres of prime Dallas real estate, near White Rock Lake. The house itself is being sold as-is, because it was built in 1925 and the photos of the interior are ghastly. Never mind the updates, something needs to be done about the plywood where windows should be. Asking price: $3.2 million dollars.
I was baffled and wondered what else I could get for my $3.2 million, if I had it to spend on a house and it had to be that one or another... found one that was about as massive in size as the first, but on 1/3rd of an acre. It's all new construction, but the interior is a disaster for different reasons - it looks to have been done with one person's tastes in mind, and the person seems to have been somewhat pretentious. Vast, "open concept" downstairs area that's behind a fireplace wall in the entry. There's a wine viewing room on one side of the living area - all the wine on display behind glass walls in what I presume is a climate-controlled chamber placed exactly where one's guests would see it, ask, and then the owner gets to brag on demand.
Either way, I'd want another $1.8 million just to renovate the interiors.
So, which one would you do with a fantasy $5 million do spend on these gems in the Dallas housing market?
Land, history, and restoration
OR
Modern, smaller yard, and renovation?
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Those historical buildings can be a real nightmare to restore. They have to be done in a certain way using certain materials and the red tape can be insane! (Some historical buildings here have just been left to rot away because fixing them up is such a nightmare...which to me is ridiculous) So I'd rather go with a newer fixer upper atleast then you can do what you want (up to a point ofcourse)!
Old stone house or Old wood house?
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Old stone house. I can always add stuff to make it warm. Whereas the big bad wolf will burn that wood shack to the ground.
You are opening a bar and grill. You need a name:
"The "Bung Hole" or "The Old Thirteenth Cheshire Astley Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn"?
Both are real bar names, btw.
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Bung Hole, I like a good dive bar.
Stonehenge is already taken. Do you want Strawhenge or Stickhenge?
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How Asthmatic is the local wolf? Better take the sturdier Stickhenge!
The narrator of the film is:
Morgan Freeman or Richard Burton
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Morgan
Tommy Bolin or Marc Bolan?
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Mr. Bolan. Unfortunately both of them left this earth way to soon, so it's hard to tell how my perspective might have changed had they continued to make music for several more decades. Tommy had a ton of potential, and I think maybe was pulled around by people who knew better but didn't care.
Crazy aliens armed with sedatives and anal probes, or kangaroos on acid?
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Roos on acid, I'll submit the vid to Ozzy Man!
Turn off the computer game and head to bed or just one more turn?
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Just one more round...and maybe one after that!
A 10$ bottle of beer or 50$ bottle of wine?
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$50 Wine... as long as it's one I like!
Apocalypse by
Alien Invasion or Zombies
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Alien Invasion, get it over with quickly.
Music you 100% like, but interrupted by a commercial block after every 3rd song, or four songs you like followed by a song you don't like all that much but isn't totally bad, commercial-free?
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Commercial free!
The economy of your country is going down the shitter. Do you buy some gold to keep at home in case the meltdown gets out of hand, or do you keep going business as usual?
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Business as usual. Gold makes people crazy, saw it in Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Treasure of the Sierra Madre or The African Queen?
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Treasure. Kat Hepburn never did anything for me in any role. I always tolerated her, rather than developed any type of appreciation for her artistry.
Jogan Rosh w/lamb or Tandoori chicken?
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Did you mean Rogan Josh? I love the sauce but prefer it with chicken!! I'm a heretic.
Thick cut Chips or French Fries
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Yes, Rogan Josh. My this or that was spurred by the fact I had it for lunch lol. And have some for leftovers! Surprised I didn't call it Joe Rogan haha!
Chips!
Ferret or hedgehog for a pet?
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Hedgehog.
Company hires new branding team and they re-imagine your brand with a new mascot. It's down to two choices, you get to pick between them...
Go with a brown recluse spider or a vampire squid? (in the real-world inspiration for this question, they kind of *combined* them...)
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A Blood Sucking Squid please!
Polar Bear or Grisly Bear
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Grizzly Bear, got a good prison work chant to go with that species of bear.
Soviet-era hard rock from Warsaw Pact nations that's been heavily influenced by Uriah Heep and Deep Purple or early 60s surf-rock investigating the potential of the newly-arrived fuzz pedal?
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Soviet-era hard rock.
You've acquired an addiction! Crystal meth or heroin?
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Oh dear oh dear oh dear... don't like the needles, so I suppose it's meth for me.
Visit Montreal in January or Disneyworld in July?
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I don't think I'd ever really want to visit Disneyland...there's just too many people all the time...so I'd go for Montreal.
Live a year in Delhi or Shanghai?
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Delhi. I got an edge on the language and love the food. Summer's gonna be killer, though...
Grilled cheese sandwich or BLT sandwich?
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BLT even though it has Lettuce in it!
York or New York
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New York
Walk around in diving flippers or Kiss boots?
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Kiss boots.
Shag carpet or Italian tile flooring?
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Tile flooring...easier to vacuum!
A 3 hour movie or 5 episodes of a tv show in a row?
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I'll go with 5 episodes... some natural comfort breaks! But some 3 hour films are worth the pain!!
Melissa or Don't Break the Oath
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Don't Break the Oath, but I'm still cringing at King Diamond's vocals.
You've been conned for $1000! Would you prefer that the con was done the old-fashioned way by a pair of tricksters in a bar or in a more modern way, by an online AI chatbot?
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I suppose it depends on the the scam, but online could mean the money is returned by the bank.
Steam Train or Horse Drawn Carriage
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Steam train.
Which, for some reason, reminds me of Murder on the Orient Express, so...
Hercule Poirot or C. Auguste Dupin?
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Poirot
Remakes
19th century character in modern times or modern character in 19th century?
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Update it, please! I'd like some cell phones in my Jane Austen! :D
It's an iconic live album from the 70s! Frampton Comes Alive or Kiss Alive?
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I don't really like Kiss but Alive is supposed to be rather good.
Watch Stand-up Comedy...
Amateurs in a small club or Professionals in an arena
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Small club, I'll likely be one of them on the open mike night.
One from Eddie Izzard's comedy: Cake or death?
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Death!
Impressionists:
Steve Coogan or Rob Brydon
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Rob Brydon, but it's hilarious to see them go toe-to-toe in a Michael Caine-off.
Texas BBQ or Kansas City BBQ?
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Texas
Would you rather be one of the greatest players of all time in a 10 year career in your sport of choice or one of the greatest head coaches of all time over a 25 year coaching career in your sport of choice?
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Head coach.
Your team does well enough in the first three quarters (or 75% of the match where there are no quarters) and then drop off in the last one, or struggle in the first three and then positively explode in the last one?
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Blow up the last 25% and hope we hadn't let it slide so much the first 75% that we can't come back.
A single stereo amplifier powering two speakers or two monophonic amplifiers, one for each speaker?
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Mono amps, I got a thing for that format.
Take up a new hobby: dressage or falconry?
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Falconry, I don't think dressage will ever catch on!
Egypt or Peru
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Peru
Ecuador or Libya?
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Ecuador
Panama Canal or Suez Canal
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Panama!
Van Halen II or 1984?
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VH II
Jam yourself into a minivan-sized tube with four other people to float around two miles under the North Atlantic Ocean looking at a shipwreck, or reclining in a well-worn leather chair, sipping some brandy and puffing on a Cuban cigar while thanking God you're not in a tube with four other people two miles under the North Atlantic Ocean for any reason.
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Even though I don't smoke or drink, if that's the way out of the first situation, I'll take the Ron Swanson option there.
Speaking of which...
A spinning tower of meat or all the bacon?
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Bacon! Mmmmm....Bacon!
White onion or Red onion?
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Red Onion raw, White if pickled!
Carrots or Parsnips
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Carrots
A concrete statement that requires zero imagination or ...
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I have zero imagination so....
Super hot day... Ice cream old a cold drink?
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Cold drink, stay hydrated!
Time for the truth! Do you want the lowdown poop or the straight dope?
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I don't understand the options... but I CAN handle the truth!
Jack Nicholson as a:
Baddy or Goody
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A baddy, he's got that right kind of crazy for the role.
Speaking of baddies...
Ralph Fiennes or Donald Pleasance?
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Pleasance
Bad asses
Liam Neeson or Charles Bronson?
-
Bronson
Bad actors, good fighters:
Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal
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Both awful actors... Seagal doubly so! So it's all down to "do I prefer Missing in Action or Under Siege". I'll go with Under Siege, so Seagal!
Action women
Linda Hamilton or Milla Jovovich
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Jovovich!
Investigate a cold case in the Sahara or get a hot lead in Greenland?
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Greenland
Command line or GUI?
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GUI, I'm tired of typing. :)
Go to a Shing-a-ling or a hootenanny?
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A Hootenanny!
Night person or Morning person
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Night person for sure
Long jump or triple jump?
-
Triple Jump!
City slicker or country boy?
-
Bit of both really! But if I had to choose I really need shops and things to be handy!
BBQ or Buffet
-
BBQ
Doom Metal or Thrash Metal?
-
Thrash
Boogie Woogie or Electronic Dance Music?
-
Aarrgghh!! Garbage the two of them... electronic if you put a gun to my head!
Pink Floyd...
Before DSOTM or After DSOTM
-
After DSOTM, I get WYWH that way.
Jellied eels or deviled kidneys?
-
Eels, jellied.
Camping or glamping?
-
Camping...although I've never been...Glamping just sounds gay.
Metallica - St. Anger or Megadeth - Rust?
-
Rust.
Lightnin' Hopkins or John Lee Hooker?
-
John Lee Hooker
Barbenheimer...
Barbie or Oppenheimer
-
From what I've heard both movies are rather horrible, but sitting through under 2 hours of Barbie might be less of a chore than sitting through 3 hours of Oppenheimer.
Good Brandy or cheap Cognac?
-
Good stuff, always the good stuff.
Clean shave or nice soft beard?
-
If I could grow a beard I would but my facial hair looks like the ass of a skunk so I need to clean shave.
Watch on right hand or left hand?
-
Strangely enough I used to wear my watch on the left wrist. When I was about 12 it took a knock when I was batting in
a cricket game... so I changed it to my right wrist! If I wore a watch now it would be my right wrist
Theme park holiday...
Rollercoaster or Haunted House
-
Roller Coaster
Art Museum or History Museum?
-
History museum
Offer up a sacrifice to...
god of the sky or god of the sea?
-
I don't live by the sea so I'd rather offer hearts of some assholes to the god(s) of the sky.
Let's carry on with this..
Sacrifice:
Cut the heart out alive or chop of the head?
-
Go Aztec or go home! Cut that heart out!
Wear the skin of a jaguar or the flayed skin of a slain king as your ceremonial garb?
-
Jaguar would be cooler!
BC or BCE
-
BC, because why hide the fact (poorly, in a way that is cheesy and sanctimonious at the same time) that much of western society's functional framework was couched in terms of religion? Plus, there isn't a comic strip (that I'm aware of) called BCE. I mean, come on.
Deeply religious Christian who can play the drums like no other and are given the opportunity to play in a massively successful band of decadent sleezeheads, or continue playing drums in solitude?
-
Decadent sleazeheads can be all right if they respect boundaries. :)
Fish and chips or pie and mash?
-
Fish And Chips
Mexican Food or Thai Food?
-
Mexican
Pick at a scab or poke on a bruise?
-
Bruise!
Ethan Hunt or Jason Bourne
-
Bourne
Your neighbor is...
An astronomy enthusiast that convinces you to join a local stargazer club OR a microbrew enthusiast that's happy to let you buy the next round?
-
Well considering I am something of an astronomy enthusiast myself, might get along with another one!
Learn things by trial and error or leave it to someone else?
-
Trial and error, but safety first, as well!
Aquarium with tropical fish or terrarium with tropical frogs?
-
Aquarium
Quiz shows with:
Celebrities or Members of the Public
-
Celebrities, preferably comedians.
Use the toilet sitting down facing the tank or always wear your clothing backwards?
-
You're officially weird! :ninja:
I accidentally put a t-shirt on backwards once, it wasn't so bad!
Dance like John Travolta or Dad dance
-
I only have two dance moves and one of them I stole from David Duchovny...so Dad dance I guess...And no...I do NOT dance...ever never EVER!
Drop a toothbrush in the toilet and have to use it or drop a sandwich in the bin and have to eat it?
-
toothbrush in the toilet, have it ride in the dishwasher and we good again
50 C or 0 F?
-
^
That's cheating. You were supposed to use it right after it fell into the toilet not wash it up first! :lol:
Both rather extreme temps but for the extremes I guess fighting cold is bit easier just put on 13 layers of clothing. So I'll take 0F...but I won't like it.
Intruder comes to your home and the only things you have to fight him off are your favourite LPs to throw at him or smash him in the head with your favourite painting?
-
I think Shaun of the Dead has already shown us that fighting off home invaders (of the zombie variety) is best done by vinyl record.
Horror films:
Suspense with little gore or Blood and guts everywhere
-
Suspense; have seen gore, don't need to watch it gratuitously.
A book discussing current trends in category theory, or 50 Shades of Grey?
-
Category theory current trends, please and thank you. Actually going to look it up after I send this in.
Spending a week in the Wyoming badlands with a geology professor or a week in a Mississippi mangrove swamp with a botany professor?
-
Wyoming, have never had any interest in botany.
Lab assistant to Thomas Edison or Albert Einstein?
-
Einstein, Edison had a bitchy reputation.
A day doing jury duty or a day doing defensive driving?
-
Jury duty. This was a tough one - because both stink of purgatory, but it came down to less chance of dying in a car wreck if I'm on jury duty :)
Matildas or Lionesses? Any relation to sport teams is purely coincidental and unrelated in any way whatsoever :P
-
Matildas, can waltz with them.
Time to bite an animal on the ass! Lioness or Honey Badger?
References:
Lioness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVySxc5N2H8
Honey Badger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNPJgmLEfD4
-
I don't have a huge desire to bite any animals in the ass...I doubt honey badger's ass actually tastes like honey either but it is smaller so less change of getting eaten by it afterwards I guess...
Carrying a concealed weapon:
Hip holster or cross draw hip holster?
-
Strong-side carry, don't want the barrel to be pointed behind me when I draw.
Time to be harassed by a bird! Magpie or bluejay?
-
Yikes! I've been harassed by both and it ain't nice! But jay's only pass by here so their harassment is short lived compared to the year around cackle by the magpies...So Bluejay it is.
Getting clawed by an eagle or bitten by a wolf?
-
I'll take eagle clawing, better story comes out of that one.
Speaking of cool stories to tell after the fact...
Get in a brawl (and lose to) Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone?
-
Ohh...I'm thinking Arnold would have a better one liner after he beats me to a pulp so I'd go with him!
Getting shot by John Wayne or Clint Eastwood?
-
John Wayne, more likely to miss... maybe!
Paul Thomas Anderson or Paul W.S. Anderson
-
PWSA... haven't seen any Resident Evil, so I'm going with the devil I don't know. There Will Be Blood sent me up the wall.
Share a prison cell with Joe Exotic or Harvey Weinstein?
-
I'll take Harvey....and whack him in the head with a bible.
Battle of turds:
Judas Priest's Turbo or Iron Maiden's No Prayer For The Dying?
-
I don't have Turbo, but there are a couple of decent tracks on No Prayer... so I'll go with that one.
More Turdology
Metallica - St Anger or Black Sabbath - Forbidden
-
Forbidden - it's Black Sabbath, it wins by default.
Harley Davidson or Triumph?
-
Gotta go with the home grown Triumph!
Holiday in remote places:
Bhutan or Tuvalu
-
Tuvalu, beach life!
A week in Bhutan or a signed copy of St. Anger?
-
I'll take a signed St. Anger I'm sure some Metallica die hard would pay big bucks for it!
Battle of epics
Sinner or Painkiller?
-
Painkiller.
Number of the Beast or Kill 'Em All?
-
I hate the vocals on Kill 'Em All but NotB would probably have won anyway.
Powerslave or The Last In Line
-
Powerslave...the best tracks are tied but TLiL has couple of bad ones where as Powerslave has none.
Years of metal
1984 or 1986?
-
1986 - Somewhere in Time, Peace Sells, Master of Puppets, The Dark, Seventh Star, The Final Countdown...
1984 - Powerslave, The Last In Line, Ride the Lightning, Perfect Strangers, Metal Church, Slide It In, 1984...
I'll go with 1984 on that question.
Metal year... 1983 or 1987?
-
1983. Holy Diver, Piece of Mind, Born Again, Kill 'Em All, Balls to the Wall
Rose Tattoo: Blood Brothers or Scarred for Life?
-
Blood Brothers
Fonzie Aaaaaaay or Hulk SMASH?
-
AAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!
Go Ahead...make my day or I'll Be Back?
-
Make my day.
"Why you numbskull!" or "Pay attention, nitwit!"
-
Numbskull!
A Tv show based on a movie or a movie based on a tv show?
-
For me, nearly 100% movies based on TV shows fall flat, half the Star Trek ones being the exceptions. Movies that came out of sketches almost all died hard, except the passable Good Burger, Wayne's World - only The Blues Brothers really works as a full film, and heaven forbid I should have to watch the sequel again. Not counting films that were straight to streaming like El Camino - looking at the ones with intent to earn at the box office. Also, Space Jam doesn't count because it's... different... not really based on a TV series. Same for the Monty Python or Muppet Show films, as they're more the comedy troupe doing a film rather than extending the narrative arc of a show or sketch to a long-format film.
Corner Gas: The Movie, however, was totally brilliant. Duct Tape Forever, based on the Red Green Show also worked. Oh, and Strange Brew! Loved that one! But I can't limit this choice to just Canadian shows.
But while most of the TV shows based on movies are awful, there are some gems like MASH, The Mandalorian, The Paper Chase, Cobra Kai and some pretty OK ones like Delta House, The Librarians, Mr. Belvedere, The TMNT cartoons, Stargate, Willow, Young Indiana Jones.
I'll go with the shows based on movies.
Over-think an answer or go with your gut? :D
-
I like to go with my gut...over thinking only leads to trouble!
Hold 'em starting hands
QJ suited or K10 suited?
-
QJ, don't draw to an inside straight.
Every time you cough, it sounds like the start of Sweet Leaf or every time you start an appliance, it sounds like the start of Fireball?
-
I don't think I need a 60-a-day cough!
To meet the venues noise curfew you need to cut 10 minutes, do you:
Drop the encore? or Make some songs shorter?
-
Make some songs shorter - especially any newer ones. Folks come to hear the music they love, and usually the encore is the ringer song/songs.
Too much self-confidence or too little self-confidence?
-
Too much, how I live my life most of the time, anyway. :smug:
Smoked ribs or smoked brisket?
-
Ribs
Veggie "burger" or insect "burger"?
-
I've had both. Both can be made to taste good, delicious even, but one of them will clear me out afterward in a most abrupt manner. I will take the insect burger with cheese. :smug:
Otto's Irresistible Dance or Tasha's Hideous Laughter?
-
Someone's been playing Dungeons and Dragons!!
In all my gaming years I don't think I've seen either spell cast. However, Otto's Dance is far more powerful than the laughter spell, so I'll go with that.
Doom (and it's sequels) or Half Life (and it's sequels)
-
Ohh...that's a tough one...but as much as I loved Half Life I have to go with DOOM!
Civilization or Settlers?
-
CIV all the way, baby!
(As for Otto's Dance, it's great against targets with high HP and low WIS that you have to wear down with multiple rounds of attacks... boss fightin' in BG3...)
Martial arts time! Leg sweep or kick to the head?
-
Kick to the Head!
Modern Board Games:
Settlers of Catan or Carcassonne
-
Catan!
Funky Worm or Disco Duck?
-
I don't know what those are but I used to play Worms and one computer generated worm was named Dandruff and it still makes me smile so Funky Worm.
Starcraft Or Warcraft?
-
Warcraft is more my thing.
Call of Duty or Medal of Honour
-
CoD
Leisure Suit Larry or Starfield?
-
Starfield
Research project time!
Bioluminescence in the Salish Sea or a radio telescope in a lunar crater?
-
Radio telescope on the moon (em signal analysis is in my wheelhouse, the moon not so much though)
Keeping with the ocean/space theme:
Pay $250,000 to float down and observe the wreck of the Titanic, or pay $250,000 to fly up and observe the wreck of the Luna 25 moonship?
-
I wouldn't mind seeing the Titanic... as long as the venture isn't run by some charlatan using shady engineering! :o
Megaprojects
Solar Panels in the Sahara or Lakes/Canals in the Sahara
-
Solar panels, but be sure they're dustproof!
Late 50's megaproject ideas: Drain the Mediterranean for farmland to feed the world or tunnels through the mantle between the world's major cities for straight-line fast travel?
-
Tunnels!
Faster Than Light Travel or Time Travel?
-
They're the same thing! Choosing one, I get the other. But, I presume that with FTL, one is ruling out travel to the past - which violates the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy, anyway - so I'll go with FTL.
A brand-new computer game that looks amazing but has some serious gameplay issues or an old game with dated graphics that has bulletproof gameplay enjoyment every time?
-
Gameplay every time, I must see if I can get Doom or Tomb Raider to play on my current PC... probably not!
Documentary preference:
When Buildings Collapse etc or Volcanoes and Earthquakes etc
-
Natural phenomena, please.
Standing on a windswept shore at the edge of the North Sea or standing on a windswept mountain overlooking a Scottish loch?
-
A Scottish Loch please...with some Single malt in one hand and a cigar in the other...and maybe a monster on the loch!
And on that note
Swimming with Nessie or Camping with the Bigfoot?
-
Bigfoot, he's a cool dude.
Pine Barrens of New Jersey or Badlands of New Mexico?
-
Badlands - New Jersey fills me with so much ennui that I think I'm French for a moment.
Besides, if I'm in the Badlands of New Mexico, I hear there's a little cantina over in El Paso called Rosa's where they have this hot gal named Felina that likes to twirl to the music...
Marty Robbins or Jim Reeves?
-
Marty Robbins, since about yesterday when I wrote "Badlands of New Mexico" :smug:
Big Iron or White Sport Coat with a Pink Carnation?
-
Big Iron
For reference:
True Grit with John Wayne or True Grit with Jeff Bridges?
-
I quite like the remake, and was more faithful to the source material. So Bridges then!
Ben Affleck...
Writer / Director or Actor
-
Yikes...that's like choosing which limb to get shot off....But I guess Writer / Director then you might not have to watch him atleast...although being an ego maniac he does tend to star in all of his movies as well...so that's almost like a double whammie...
Talking about real actors / directors
Clint Eastwood or Mel Gibson?
-
Clint Eastwood
A Western movie...
... set in Arizona or in Montana?
-
If memory serves Arizona has some stunning scenery... so if the films bad you can look at that!
Westerns, part 2...
Shoot Outs or Cattle Drives
-
Shoot outs!
Sci-fi horror
On a ship or on a planet?
-
On a ship, nowhere to run!
B-Movie actioners
Under Siege or Missing in Actoin
-
I wouldn't call Under Siege a B-movie...Firstly it was a big box office hit at the time, secondly it had a pretty decent budget AND it's a pretty damn good movie. Missing In Action does go to the b-movie category. So there is no doubt which is the better movie here that's Under Siege 100 times over eventhough Missing In Action is a good movie as well.
Alien 3 or Predator 2?
-
Pred 2
Perry Mason or Columbo?
-
Oh as a kid I loved them both! Haven't watched either in over 25 years though.... But I'll go with Columbo...Peter Falk was just phenomenal and the guest stars were quite often ace!
Let's carry on with this theme
Starsky & Hutch or Streets Of San Francisco?
-
I feel Streets of San Francisco was a much better written show but Starsky & Hutch was way cooler as a kid.
Get Smart or Hogan’s Heroes?
-
Get Smart! For sure!
The Man From U.N.C.L.E. or The Saint?
-
The Saint
The Love Boat or Fantasy Island?
-
Never seen Fantasy Island but I remember watching The Love Boat as a kid.
And now to the deep end:
Dallas Or Dynasty?
-
***D*A*L*L*A*S***!!! :smug:
Logan's Run or Planet of the Apes?
-
Hated both of them. The plot, the production, the acting, the incessant advertising at the time.
Planet of the Apes wins by a slight margin because of Charleton Heston.
Soap or Benson?
-
Soap
Theme from Close Encounters of the Third Kind or Theme from Rocky?
-
Theme from Rocky!
Theme from Commando or Theme from Rambo?
-
Theme from Rambo.
Mission: Impossible theme or James Bond theme?
-
The names Bond, James Bond
TV Themes
The Flintstones or Top Cat
-
FLINTSTONES YESH ZOMG WE'LL HAVE A GAY-O TIIIIIME!
Happy Days theme or Laverne and Shirley theme?
-
Happy Days
Goodies or Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em?
-
The Goodies
The A-Team vs Knight Rider?
-
I quite like both but I'll choose The A-Team
Which "The Office"
UK Original or US Remake
-
Honestly I never liked either show...most of the stuff just wasn't funny... Parks and Recreation and Modern Family both did the whole mocumentary a whole lot better and both of those shows were actually funny every time.
But I think I'd choose the US version because of Steve Carell and that red head chick who was kinda hot.
Another UK vs US
Men Behaving Badly or Married....with Children?
-
BUNDY! Married... with Children!
The IT Crowd or Father Ted?
-
Father Ted, but I didn't really watch The IT Crowd, but I think I would have really liked it, great cast!
WW II comedies
It Ain't 'Alf Hot Mum or Allo Allo
-
Allo Allo, as it's what I've seen, going with the devil I know...
Peter Cushing or Vincent Price?
-
Vincent Price!
You and your date dress up for Halloween as:
(https://www.ddever.net/img/bandb.png)
OR
(https://www.ddever.net/img/omgh.png)
-
Beauty and the Beast, we'd like to maintain our rep as "decent folks"
Live in a renovated nuclear missile silo or in a renovated offshore drilling platform?
-
Heh Both would be kind of awesome places to live I guess...but I'm not a fan of water and what I've seen those silos are really really interesting and cool so I'd go with that.
Forced to spend 6 months on a boat sailing across the world or 6 weeks in a train criss crossing Asia?
-
Boat, for sure.
You can visit one place in Africa:
Mt. Kilimanjaro or Victoria Falls?
...we'd like to maintain our rep as "decent folks"
Looking at that costume picture you did not choose, I can't help but think those two people are actually wearing their everyday clothing haha
-
I've never seen a waterfall so I'd go for Victoria Falls! ...granted never seen a mountain either but I don't like hights anyways.
Fishing on Amazon or Safari hunting in Kenya?
-
I'm not a hunter, so off to the Amazon for me.
Time to clean your plate!
Grilled cheese sandwich with a side of applesauce or a 72-ounce steak with a loaded baked potato?
-
As long as I could prepare (ie not eat for a couple of days!) I'd go for the steak, I'm not a huge fan of cheese.
More places to visit, natural geology
Giants Causeway (Northern Ireland) or Uluru (Australia)
-
Giants' Causeway
Faeroe Islands or Falkland Islands?
-
I have no idea what's on Faeroe Islands...But I've seen Falkland Islands and they look very pretty so I'd go there!
Nuclear winter caused by an Asteroid or Nuclear Winter caused by Nukes?
-
I'll take the asteroid. Less guilt with that scenario.
Väinämöinen or Lemminkäinen?
-
Somebody's been catching up on Kalevala... Honestly I have never read it...the most I know about Kalevala is from Don Rosa's Unca Scrooge's The Quest For Kalevala! :D
But I'll go with Väinämöinen that guy was the og bad ass of Finland!
Rake the leaves or mow the lawn and crush the leaves?
-
Rake the leaves. This actually depends, though. For a certain part of my lawn I'll rake leaves - for the rest of it I just mow them up.
Continue to keep track of your vinyl collection in a database you created or start keeping track of your vinyl collection on Discogs?
-
Personal database.
Both Ritchie Blackmore and John McLaughlin bade farewells to electric guitar playing - so whose acoustic output do you get into, McLaughlin's Indian-flavoured trips with Shakti or Blackmore's Renaissance forays with Blackmore's Night?
-
Blackmore's Night
Doom Metal with epic lenghty slow tracks or Doom Metal with faster riffing shorter tracks?
-
Faster riffing, please.
You can see the KC Chiefs play a home game BUT you have to sit next to Taylor Swift
OR
You can see the KC Chiefs play a home game BUT you have to sit next to Vyn! :D
-
As long as it's a private box and she promises not to sing! She looks great and I won't be interested in the game anyway... so umm, you know Swift! No offence to Vyn!
A holiday in...
Ukraine or Gaza
-
Ukraine. I wouldn’t even visit Gaza on a good day before this latest shit happened.
Kiss or Aerosmith?
-
Kiss
Get bad news from the plumber or from the electrician?
-
Electrician, I know a few things in that regard. Plumbing? I'm at the mercy of any scam artist who might make shit up to cost me more money, and I'd have no idea. "Well sir, you have a misaligned blep in your main pipe. We have to re-blep it for $2,000."..."ok!"
A rockin' home stereo system or a rockin' car stereo system? You can only have one!!
-
I used to drive a lot more... now I office at home. Let the speakers shake not my car doors, but my office doors!
2 hours of lecture from an expert in the field on...
The geology of the Rocky Mountains or the archaeology of the Sumerians?
-
The Rocky's are probably quite interesting!
Road trip:
North of Canada to the tip of Argentina or The North of Norway to the tip of South Africa
-
Hmm...Africa is a bit of a terrorist hot bed at times so eventhough central America ain't without it's dangers I think I'll rather trek across the Americas...plus I could get to see the Maya...
Travelling through dangerous country
Hire a security guard or learn to shoot and protect yourself?
-
Hire the guard, he'll also know some great places to eat.
Mexican tacos al pastor or Chilean hot dog completo?
-
I have no idea what those are but I've never had tacos so I'd like to try them.
Hot wings or hot ribs?
-
Hot ribs.
Bad beer or bad wine?
-
Yikes...neither sounds good but I think I'd still go with wine as I've never had truly horrible wine and I have had beer that I've been forced to pour down the drain several times.
Bad Rum or Bad Brandy?
-
Bad Rum. It already sucks, so I won't notice.
Ingrained toenail, or a corn on your toe?
-
Corn on my toe, especially corn like what comes in the can.
Public penance time! Lance Armstrong's apology or Jimmy Swaggart's apology?
-
Both about as sincere as cat apologizing mouse for eating it! hahah! But I guess Lance is even a bigger dick so Swaggart.
Keep on fighting or taking a few punches and just walking away?
-
Take punches and walk away, head up high, even. I've actually done that, and there's an incredible power in standing without hitting back and not begging for anything to stop.
A website you love asks for a pledge to keep going. Do you send in a donation or do you hope everyone else sends in enough donations so you can enjoy for free? (Listening to myself do a pledge drive appeal for the community station I work at as I type this...)
-
It'll probably be a scam! So I won't donate except in exceptional circumstances.
The new Beatles song "Now and Then"
Good or Bad or Indifferent
-
Indifferent...haven't heard it don't wanna hear it.
Mob Rules album
SUBERB or BRILLIANT?
-
SUPERB because there's a question mark after brilliant, and there's no question in my mind about the album. :D
Senjutsu...
Best Iron Maiden album ever
OR
Yes, that is an Iron Maiden album. Yes it is. Says so on the record, right there...
-
It's an Iron Maiden album...and not a very good one! :D
Nothing Else Matters or A Tout Le Monde?
-
A Tout le Monde
The guys digging in the record company vault found something!
A previously-unreleased track by The Monkees
OR
A previously-unreleased track by The Partridge Family
-
I quite like The Monkees... so their lost song!
Most people agree that Global Warming is a real thing, but...
Is it man made or Is it a natural cycle of the planet or A bit of both
-
Given the scale of change of previous natural cycles, the amount of change we are experiencing over and above what was historically typical indicates that natural causes alone would only account for a small fraction of the current warming trend.
Therefore, man made.
You are now a massively popular rock and roll guitarist. Time to pick out the hat that will define your on-stage persona!
A top hat
OR
A bowler hat
-
I'd rather go with a cowboy hat but if that's not an option bowler hat just because it looks stupid.
Time to then shoot a music video.
Wear leather gloves while playing or white silk gloves?
-
Leather gloves, gotta project that metal image.
Studded leather
OR
Spiked leather
-
Studded
Leather pants or Leather shirt?
-
Leather shirt, I seen the Friends episode to know where leather pants leads to...
The Devil is offering guitar lessons!
Sell your soul for the full course or become a rock band manager and try to convince the guitar player to take it up with The Devil and to sign an ironclad representation contract with you...
-
Sell my soul for sure! Who needs one anyways if you can play mean guitar!!
Time to put your band together but you have to settle for:
A bad drummer or a bad bass player?
-
Bad bass player, you just have them do something simple and it's can still be effective.
... next one in the band you have a choice of
A keyboard player or a third guitarist?
-
^ Lol at bad bass player... the And Justice for All solution... "Hey, there's no bass in this mix, what happened?"
Keyboard player, I don't do "guitar army" stuff...
Add in a horn section and backup singers or keep it just the 3-5 of us?
-
Just the three of us, we can make it if we try. Just the three of us. You and I. And that other person.
Produce your own record for the first time or let Rick Rubin do it?
-
I'd want a good sounding record so I guess I'd have to try to do it myself...bigger chance of getting it right than with ruin rubin... :D
Album artwork time.
A specific art made by an artist or a standard picture of something?
-
Standard picture, but with effects. I don't need a controversy with an artist that does something I hate but then have to contractually use.
Record company says they like the stuff they've heard so far, but could you do something a little more commercial to boost the sales?
Do you...
Record a 2:34 bit of ear candy that is pretty much NOT what you're doing on the rest of the album
OR
Just hear the first part of that and carry on with what you're doing and have the rest of the "more commercial" argument later?
-
Ear candy. And make sure everyone gets a writing credit.
Your commercial tune was massively successful, people are willing to spend $ to go hear you play that one song, and are also getting into the rest of your catalog.
Allow your management to use Ticketmaster, or go grass-roots for ticket sales?
-
I plan to use my soul after I die. Grass-roots ticket sales.
In the middle of the successful tour, your guitar player takes himself out with his drug use. You have to get a substitute at the last minute for your Nashville show.
Hire a minder for him and struggle on with him for the rest of the tour dates
OR
Say he's fired if he doesn't go to rehab, continue the tour with one or more replacement guitarists...
-
Take drugs and short-change our fans with slop performances? Rehab or fired.
Doped-up guitarist's wife knocks on your hotel-room one night mid tour. She shows you pictures of your girlfriend with the guitarist doing adult-themed stuff.
Take her offer to get even and let her stay in your room, or commiserate with her plight, ask her to leave, call your girlfriend and tell her to fuck off?
-
Gotta play it clean, commiserate and break up via text message. Get more PR that way. :smug:
Broadway producer asks to do a jukebox musical based on your band's back catalog.
Grant the rights to use your tunes or decline?
-
Just Say NO To Musicals!
Time to put out your first live album
Record every show from the tour and pick best preformances or record one single night for a true live album?
-
Get a soundtable recording of every show, put out best performances on the main album, have best single shows as deluxe extras - free digital downloads for you, the fans that make us who we are! Whoo!
The Emir of Dubai invites your band to play his son's birthday party for a zillion dollars. But you would have to cancel a week's worth of concerts on your North American tour, at least.
Take the money and play the party or put the North American fans first?
-
Take that zillion like a cat stealing a fish!
(https://i.imgur.com/TLdBvvX.jpg)
Covert to Buddhism because the band's guru says you should (and good PR), or lie and get the good PR, but throw your guru to the curb?
-
Buddhism doesn't have strict exit clauses like *SOME* religions do, so let's get on the plane to Thailand!
Making a new album... there's a tricky section that one of the players can't quite get sorted...
Rewrite the song so it's less tricky in the melody/rhythm
OR
Tell the player to take a short break and get a session player in to record that part and then pretend like the guy did it on one of his takes and then never ever play that song live...
-
I'm a firm believer that a band should always be able to do every song they record live too so I'd just rewrite it...
Tenth anniversary of the band approaches...
Do a one off special show that you record for a live dvd or just release a best of collection?
-
We're likely not talking to each other by then, so let's have a best-of and save the "original lineup" reunion for the 20th anniversary.
Rumors are circulating about your band possibly breaking up!
The rumors are 100% true, but do you admit that in the public press and guarantee the breakup or deny them in the public press and hope that you can patch things back together?
-
Admit it straight up. I hate it when bands circle jerk around issues. It'll always look ridiculous in the end.
So two members of the band have now split...
Do you carry on by just finding replacements or do you call the band quits and go for a solo record?
-
I own the rights to the band name because I was busy with the lawyers while they complained. I got a ton of songwriting credits and those are my retirement plan.
We get replacements, cut a new album of original material AND do a Christmas single because that's a big long-term money-maker, just ask Noddy Holder!
And now the two who left formed their own band and made a single that edged your band's track in the charts. They're doing a lot of trash-talking in the press.
Do you deepen the feud or brush it off and remain above the fray?
-
Brush it off... then imply they snorted lines of coke off the belly of a prostitute at a Donald Trump party!!
Your record company demand a new album which is more commercial and might be a hit... do you:
Ignore them and put out a concept album * or Take their advice and basically become Nickleback
* like Rush did with 2112
-
Ignore them for sure! And chance labels!
So time to start writing that concept album
A Sci-Fi based concept or Hell/demons based concept?
-
Sci-fi, inspired by the works of Stanislav Lem.
Band members are dropping hints that it's not too late to go for commercial success instead...
Give in to their wishes in the spirit of band camaraderie, or tell them too bad and that they can be replaced if they don't want to go forward with this concept album!
-
Concept album or look for other work!
Tired of the bullshit, do you:
1. take a month with the other band members to find the spark you all once had.
or
2. Become Trent Reznor?
-
It would be worth to take a month and see if things are still there. Nothing good about becoming Trent Reznor!
You find the spark again and then start working on a new album.
Return to basics and to your first album or being re-energized venture into something totally new?
-
I have this free-form jazz-fusion number I've been toying with, but... yeah, it sucks. Let's go back to the first album.
Want to know how some new songs are going to sound performed live... do a free concert for thousands in a park somewhere or perform under a different name in some small clubs?
-
Free Concert! It's good publicity!
Years have passed and it's getting time to retire...
Will you do a big official Goodbye Tour and then call it quits or will you just tour until you can't anymore?
-
Tour until you can't.
Got a terrible cold and you just can't go on with the next few shows. Cancel and reschedule or find a replacement to cover your absence for those few shows?
-
Have a quick word with best buddy Rob Halford and take a few days off!
It's been reported that Geddy Lee wants to record with Alex Lifeson again. How do they name themselves...
Rush or *Something Else*
-
They call themselves "Ruh" and name their first album, "Ruh-Roh".
Peart's fam learns about the new band Ruh, and threatens to sue until the end of time if they go through with it. Does Ruh offer a cut of the sales to shut them up or tells them to "talk to the hand"?
-
Talk to the hand baby!
Eagles or Toto?
-
Eagles. Like hockey, I watch them for the fights. :smug:
You need to pick an opening act for the big tour! Do you go with a band that's good but not too good, or do you go with the hottest up-and-comers you can find because you want competition to keep you sharp?
-
Rather have someone good and around the same age group...there's no reason to try to court some youngsters with some hip band who wouldn't like you anyways!
Aerosmith or Bon Jovi?
-
Aerosmith, but misplace all the albums of theirs that I don't like... :whistling:
US College Football this weekend!
The Egg Bowl or The Iron Bowl?
-
Bowl is a bowl but I would imagine one made of Iron would be better in the long run than one made out of Eggs...so I'll go with that! Although if it would be bowls containing Eggs or Iron I think I'd go with eggs...
And just now I realised this was supposed to have something to do with american "foot"ball...oh well..
Black Friday or Cyber Monday?
-
Cyber Monday, because that's my expertise. :smug:
Adele or Ed Sheeran?
-
Adele had a half-way decent Bond song... can't think of any reason to like Sheeran.
Tom Jones or Frank Sinatra
-
Sinatra, no hesitation.
Dean Martin or Tony Bennett?
-
Dean Martin
War Pigs w/War Pigs lyrics, or War Pigs w/Walpurgis lyrics?
-
War Pigs with War Pigs lyrics
Welcome to Houston, Texas! Would you prefer dozens of mosquito bites or flying 5-8cm long cockroaches in your bedroom?
-
Cockroaches....they don't suck the blood out of you!
Welcome to FINLAND
Freeze to death while taking out the trash or be eaten by wolves while going to the mailbox?
-
(Ooh! Do you have wolves Charger?)
Love Wolves, they can be friendly, but a death is probably quicker by Wolf than teh Cold!
Live in
Grindavik, Iceland or Herculaneum, Italy
-
Herculaneum, get a nice pizza as we evacuate for the next volcanic event.
Welcome to China!
Breathe in air that is full of coal dust OR breathe in air that's even more polluted than that, but it doesn't make your snot and face turn black?
-
Black lung, please!
Everyman for himself or we're all in this together?
-
Well if it's us here then we're in it together but if you talk about the rest of the world then...well...fuck 'em!
And to answer KDC's question yes we have a shitload of wolves thanks to stupid protection plans by the EU...there are two packs living near me at the moment...they've killed a ton of sheep around here which obviously has the farmers going crazy. They've also been quite threatening to people as well being in people's back yards and such...they're starting to get real menacing now...luckily we've been getting some hunting permits for them already...There just are way too many of them and too close to people and NO they are NOT friendly!
Space travel with a faster than lightspeed engine or space travel through worm holes?
-
I'll take the FTL engine when it's ready.
We're going old school with our calendars! Mayan calendar or Babylonian calendar?
-
Mayan ofcourse!
Mayan ritual sacrifice or Egyptian ritual sacrifice?
-
Mayan, I'm more familiar with that style.
Queen or Elton John?
-
Queen like 10056 times over!
Sex Pistols Or Ramones?
-
Sex Pistols, I don't mind The Ramones, but SP were much better than their reputation suggests.
David Bowie or George Michael
-
David Bowie by about four astronomical units.
Molly Hatchet or .38 Special?
-
There's a possible loophole here where I can get a revolver instead of a band that's running on fumes... But I'll stay true to what I assume to be the intent of the ask and go with Molly Hatchet.
The Soft Machine or Fairport Convention?
-
Soft Machine sounds like some sort of a sex related contraption so I'll go with Fairport Convention!
10 inches of snow in a day or -35C Temp for a day?
-
10 inches (25cm) of snow. Here in Texas, it'll be gone within a week.
House on the beach or house on a cliff overlooking a beach?
-
Cliff overlooking the tsunami-hiding beach.
Cheat on your college work using AI, or put in the effort to learn the material?
-
Learn the stuff, if I don't learn it, I can' use it in real life.
Disney goes metal! Would you prefer The Little Mermaid with songs re-worked by Iron Maiden or Beauty and the Beast with songs re-worked by Tony Martin?
-
I am not overly familiar with music from either titles but Tony Martin reworking anything would probably sound pretty darn interesting!
Disney continues it's blasphemy of creating crappy live action versions of their beloved animations.
Fantasia or Dumbo?
-
They've already done a live action Dumbo (about 5 years ago) it was disappointing!
So that leaves a live action Fantasia, I'm sure they can muck that up too!
Disney think a live action remake of a Pixar film might work, which should they choose:
Toy Story or The Incredibles
-
Toy Story, because why not?
Walt Disney was born in a small town not too far from where I live. Amazingly, there is very little signage or other hoopla drawing attention to the place. It's called Marceline, and if you blink you'll drive through it and not even know. Although there is a museum - what looks like an old courthouse that someone drew the words, "Walt Disney Museum" on a piece of paper and taped it to the front door.
Do you start a foundation to revitalize Marceline into a tourist hot-spot or lobby to have the museum torn down and all references to Disney removed from the town?
-
I think it should be revitalized! Disney was an icon after all and it's a bit strange that his birthplace isn't more widely known...
Harrison Ford!:
Han Solo or Indiana Jones?
-
Han Solo.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has invited you to his party! He wants to know if you'd rather sit next to Tom Arnold or Danny DeVito at dinner?
-
Oh...that's a tough one...but I think I'd go with Tom Arnold.
Dinner party hosted by Chuck Norris or Sylvester Stallone?
-
I gotta go to Stallone's party, more my generation's thing.
You have a chance to go back in time, but only to disastrous concerts! Black Sabbath in Milwaukee 1980 OR "Deep Purple" Long Beach 1980?
-
Hmmm..that's actually not as clear cut as I originally thought...Ofcourse any show from Sabbath would be great to see, that would be no exeption but I have to say I would LOVE to see the faces of people at the DP concert who thought they came to see the actual DEEP PURPLE only to find out it was a Evans show!
Now that we warmed up the time machine let's use it again!
Going back to the very first concert of Black Sabbath or Rainbow?
-
First Sabbath concert, just because seeing the four when they were fresh, young, naive perhaps - it would be a great moment to take in.
First concert of DP Mk2 or First concert of Iron Maiden with Bruce Dickinson?
-
As an aside: Talking about early Sabbath shows I've got an old friend from work who saw them live about May 1970, so before the second album was released.
On topic again: I think either would be great but I'm more of a Dickinson/Maiden fan... so them
Let's go with...
The roof top performance by The Beatles or Woodstock
-
Beatles on the roof top, better infrastructure there.
California Jam! Be the ABC television cameraman assaulted by Blackmore or the fire marshall called in after the amps exploded in flame?
-
Blackmore's assault is legendary!
Metallica playing at a small club in Finland in 1984 (only about 10km from where I live I might add too bad I was 10 months old at the time) or Iron Maiden playing a small club in England in 1979?
-
I'll take that Finnish club with Metallica.
Grand Funk Railroad at Atlanta Pop Festival or Blue Cheer at Miami Pop Festival?
-
Blue Cheer in Miami.
No water heater for a month or no furnace for a month?
-
No furnace for a month. We can do this, y'all!
Time machine is adjusted, now it can allow you to form 70s supergroups!
It's late 1971 - you got a choice of building a band around Joe Walsh or Robin Trower... who do you pick?
-
Robin Trower.
The supergroup needs a rhythm guitarist - Malcolm Young or force Uli Jon Roth to stop being a lead player and strum chords instead?
-
Malcolm Young is generally considered the best rhythm guitarist.
The band's leader wants to expand their sound, do they:
Add a horn section or Add backing singers
-
Let's get a horn section, I know what's coming around the bend.
For the horns... do you entice The Memphis Horns or Fred Wesley and the J.B.'s?
-
J.B.'s...that's also the scotch MacReady was drinking in The Thing.
Horns need something to balance the sound between them and the guitars:
Add Violins or Cellos?
-
Cellos, they got more bottom to them, great for heavier sounds.
Two vocalists are expressing interest in the project, you can pick one: Rod Stewart or Steve Marriott?
-
Steve Marriott
Thinking about a drummer - but - the cellist is pushing for a drum machine instead of an actual percussionist. Which is it going to be, a live person or some relative of an Alesis SR-16?
-
Drum machine in 1971? Sly Stone is kicking around one of those things, not too bad, but not ready for concert work. We'll need a live drummer for tours. See if we can get Clive Bunker.
Also need a bass player, come to think of it. Should it be "just" a bass player, or are we looking for bass + vocals to backup the singer?
-
Just a Bass player...I don't need Glenn Hughes!
Geezer Butler singing background vocals or Ozzy Osbourne playing drums?
-
Ozzy may have been able to keep a rhythm in the past, not sure he could now. But Geezer has a proven record on it's a hard road!
You have a song which needs more drums on it:
Use a drum machine or Hire Nicko McBrain for a couple of sessions
-
Drum Machine, literally we can bang it out with that.
Ready to record! Do prog-rock or cover a bunch of old blues tunes?
-
Prog rock cover of Rush's 2112!
To make the cover bit more umphy(!) add a bit of orchestra or tune down the guitars?
-
Downtuning, baby!
Play to heavily-packed large clubs and dancehalls or half-empty small stadiums?
-
Smaller venues, don't run before you can walk!
You have 60 minutes of music for a new album. The record company wants to release 40-45 minutes of it on vinyl. Do you...
Just release the best 40-45 minutes or Insist on a double album (we can give you extra songs dude!)
-
Best 40-45, play the others in concerts so they can get polished up and released on the next album.
regular album sleeve or gatefold?
-
Gatefold.
Does the inner artwork on the gatefold contain a pic of the band nude or some kind of Roger Dean/Yes album cover art?
-
It depends if the band is filled by pretty ladies then go the nude route...if ugly hairy men then some sort of a Yes album cover artsty fartsy pic for sure!
Lyrics printed on a separate note or printed on the sleeve?
-
Lyrics printed on a separate note, we got a photomontage for the album sleeve proper.
Got offers to appear on television for the same day: either Top of the Pops with the BBC or Rockpalast with West German television?
-
Top of the Pops only reflected the top 40 charts... which are garbage and is why it folded many years ago! Rockpalast at least has "rock" in its title which bodes well.
The Japanese distributor insists on a bonus material...
Throw together a couple of short-ish studio tracks or include a couple of live songs
-
Live songs.
Manager gets a call - on the same night the band is scheduled to play a benefit concert for a children's hospital, now a Russian oligarch wants you to play a private party but will pay unknown large amount, which will be extra special due to the short notice. Feign sickness and reschedule the benefit show, or decline the private party?
-
Hmmm...that's actually a tricky one... If the band is short on money I'd say go for the private show, but then again the charity show might gain new fans and might get you going to the right direction...I think keep the scheduled gig and try to see if the oligarch could possibly reschedule his little shindig.
The band is on tour playing sold out small clubs to hard core fans..BUT you get an offer to join a big stadium band as the first opener:
Cancel the tour for the 30 min opening slot or say fuck it and carry on playing the clubs for your hard core fans?
-
Ouch... skip the club and "that's the moment they sold out!" Skip the opening and, "... but the band that accepted in their place blew away the crowd and the rest is history."
Stay with the club. That's who we are. If we're that good, we'll get another call. If not, then staying true to our fans puts bread on the table.
It's July and the label asked for us to do an original Christmas song. Do a fun song or a make-you-feel-guilty-for-having-fun song?
-
Greg Lake's "I Believe in Father Christmas" managed to be both!!
... a guilt-ridden Christmas song would be more memorable!
The Christmas hit needs a promotional video, do you film it in:
Israel or Lapland
-
Rather freeze with reindeer than potentially get shot at: Lapland, ho!
Time to do a track for a tribute album! Contribute to the Black Sabbath tribute or the Deep Purple tribute?
-
Black Sabbath
But choose Ozzy era track or Dio era track?
-
Ozzy-era, easier for me to sing or not sing, as I choose. :D
We had a rager last night and now the hotel staff are complaining that it'll be next to impossible to get the smell of burnt goathair out of the curtains.
Shrug shoulders, pay the bill, let accountants handle the fallout OR apologize graciously, pay in full for the redecoration, and tip everyone an extra hundred dollars?
-
Shrug and tell them to be thankful we didn't do to them what we did to the previous hotel. ROCK AND ROLL!
Drummer decides he can't be bothered to fly around to venues with the rest of the group and wants his own jet. And wants the band to foot the bill or he's walking.
Pay up or call Vinnie Appice?
-
Call Vinnie Appice and then Vinnie Appice's manager, just to be sure. Warm up the drum machine, just to be double sure.
Get a model of Stonehenge made up for the tour or invest instead in a light show?
-
A light show please, we already know what happens if we invest in the Stonehenge model... ridicule!
The last show of the tour is in your home town and you want to make a special effort:
Get some dancing girls or invite some local names to guest and maybe do a few covers.
-
Few covers with buddies for sure!
Film the hometown show for a live dvd or record it for a live album?
-
People still buy DVDs? How about we record it for the live release...
... and the sound quality is poor in a number of tracks. Let it go out as is and say we're being honest and all or patch it up in the studio like everyone else does?
-
Patch that crap up. And be honest about it so we don't end up like Little Feat/Waiting for Columbus, and every other live release known to man. Cut the gossip off from the get-go.
New record is a success, record company wants more tunage, we've been hard at it and want a break before we break-up from the stress.
Keep grinding in the studio or take a six month hiatus?
-
Announce a break-up now, take 6 months off, and by the time the record company is going nuts with reunion offers, do the reunion with a renegotiated contract.
Paul McCartney shows up and says, "I've written a hit song for you!" Thing is, he's right. This is an awesome song, perfect for the band and very much in our style. Catch is, if we do it, it'll be misery in the studio as we do it EXACTLY how he wants it.
Take the song and do what The Beatle says OR see if The Devil has a better offer that doesn't involve cramping our studio style?
-
It's probably a great song the way Macca wrote it, you'd probably mess it up if he doesn't pull the strings in the studio.
You find a long lost tape with previously unheard riffs by Iommi, they're really, really good, do you:
Use them for your own songs or get in touch with him and give them back?
-
It's a small world, let's have our people contact his people.
While we're recording, Peter Green and Syd Barrett show up. They look about as stoned as they can be, but they can still play and offer to jam. We cut some tracks and they're awesome.
Do we come out and say that they're on the next album, or do we let the rumor mill handle that task?
-
Let the rumor mill do the job and then surprise the fans....although in this case I'm not sure if it's gonna be a positive one.
The Green/Barret track turns out to be an 8 minute prog wankery which lost some of it's original magic of the sessions. Barrett insists it can't be shortened but if left like that there's no way it'll go down well with the fans.
So say screw it to Barrett and cut it down to 4 minutes and put it out as a single or give in to Barrett and just put it as a last track on the album with a snooze warning?
-
Last track, but with a twist - we double-groove side two like what Monty Python did on their Matching Tie and Handkerchief album. Most of the time, you get the main set of tracks, but every now and again the needle hits the right groove and you get THE SECRET TRACK. That way, no matter how bad it is, fans will think they've discovered some kind of treasure. :smug:
Somehow, one of our albums is hugely popular with tape-trading rock fans behind the Iron Curtain. Someone suggests making a deliberate bootleg tape for them, with encouraging messages in Russian, Polish, German, Czech, Magyar, and Romanian, the major languages of the Warsaw Pact nations.
Do a jam as a one-off for the kids or make it into a serious concept album about how rock and roll leads to freedom and stuff like that?
-
Do the jam. Not ready to become CSN&Y yet.
Singer wants to do a solo album. He doesn't seem to be suffering from Sting-itis or anything, but concerned his head might get so big he'll float away.
Support his endeavors or tell him to make a choice?
-
Support him...let him get it out of his system so that he can again fully commit to the band.
The record company wants a best of collection.
Do a single cd greatest hits thing or a double cd with some rarities and demos?
-
True fans will already have your records, a greatest hits is purely for the casual listener, they won't want the rarities and oouttakes, and the true fans would prefer to get those on remasters and deluxe box sets! So a single disc.
The driving force in you band has just been convicted of treason... do you:
Disband the group or Continue under a new name
-
New name. Anyone still playing together needs something unattached to the criminal element. Yes, we're bad boys of rock but not waiting to be executed boys of rock...
We want a fresh start and a new beginning and stuff like that. Rehearse for the new album in a chilly Scottish castle or in a vacation lodge in Colorado that's closed for the winter?
-
Scottish Castle! Should get some good doomy vibe.
So the singer in the band got sent to gitmo for supporting some bad dudes from the middle east...so for the new album you need a new singer...
Look for a clone or go totally different direction and get a girl?
-
Let's get a lady and be sure she's moderate in her political views. :D
Do we also take this opportunity to bring in another guitarist or do we stay with the one?
-
Ok... the new lady singer, has to look good and be able to play rhythm guitar... oh and she must be able to sing!
The PR team want you put your brand on a drink, you have two choices:
Real Ale or Malt Whiskey
-
Malt Whiskey, let's go for something that's not in cans! Unless... no, I don't want to think about cans of whiskey!
Promoters are asking if we're interested in doing a few dates in Indonesia...?
Yes, and hire tons of extra security... or no, and go straight from Australia to Japan without stopping.
-
Hell to the NO! Straight to Japan...don't waste time with those muslim extremist countries...
The new singer wants to do her own versions of some of the old tunes.
Let's do it! Or nah let's just move forward?
-
I'd like to do new versions, let fans know what to expect so they won't holler for the old singer.
Drummer has some "legal issues" related to "controlled substances" and is banned from entering Australia. Get a different drummer for those dates on the tour or cancel them?
-
You can't disappoint the Aussie fans... hire a replacement, but who?
Mike Portnoy or Jason Bonham
-
Portnoy, I'll go with that guy.
We got an invitation to do either Don Kirshner's Rock Show or Brent Sugarman's Midnight Express... which one?
-
Don Kirshner's rock show!
The producer of the show comes and says their sound system has failed so the preformance should be lip synced.
Preform live anyways with crappy sound or agree to lip sync?
-
This is national television stuff, we need to sound good - lip sync.
Book a private bus for the tour or a private jet?
-
Are we on a world tour already? A jet I guess, but if we're just going up and down the coast of England I think a coach would be more practical!
You've been offered the chance to do a 4-day cruise... just you and the 2,500 fans, you do 1 set a day the rest of the day is yours. You have a choice of leaving from:
Miami for the Caribbean or Monaco for the Mediterranean
-
Miami and Caribbean for sure!
The manager has started sleeping with the new singer and is pushing the singer to go solo for big bucks.
Fire the manager or fire the singer?
-
Fire one, the other gets pissed off. Best to fire the manager so we don't wind up with lawsuits more vindictive than they're going to be with that move.
And here's the lawsuit! We have a court injunction against performing any songs from our first three albums, which is a bit of a pinch, as we only got two more after that run.
Go into beast mode and write brand new hits or take that material we can do and really polish it up?
-
Write brand new hits. We're a supergroup!
While our lawyers get rich battling it out in courtrooms, we're given the opportunity to tour with two other bigtime bands. The catch is that the headliner will rotate, so one third of the dates we will be tops, another third we'll be middle, the final third we'll be the opening support.
Lots of cash inflow is a given, but there's concern about diluting our brand. We're a supergroup!
Go for the almost guaranteed cash, or graciously decline to share a tour?
-
Those kinds of joint tours can be very succefull so go for it!
Record company wants to re-release the debut album but with bonus material:
Fill the second cd with live tracks or new versions of the album with the new singer?
-
Live tracks, we're still in court on this thing, right? Don't want new material to be caught up in that mess.
Alejandro Jodorowsky loves our stuff, just called us up and asked if we would do the soundtrack for his next movie.
It is likely to go straight to the art houses and make no money until after it's developed a cult following.
Do the project, which means a different direction for about a year, or thank him kindly and stay the course?
-
Screw that! Don't even need to thank kindly! We got fans to think about!
There's settlement offer on the table in the court case. The manager would accept 5 millions and be gone.
Eventhough that kind of money would put the band in a near bankruptcy pay him off or try to carry on and win in court?
-
Pay him off. But, our bass player knows a guy who used to do jobs for Don Arden. He's been talking to him, and although there is a certain amount of liability on the band's part (we did try to screw the manager over a little), we're not going to pay 5 million. So, we send bass players friend over with a counter-offer for 1 million.
Manager accepts, and we put this nonsense behind us. AND keep a few bucks in our bank.
Our reissued debut is doing great, fans love the live tunes. Go on tour to support it, without any new tunes, or hit the studio and come up with our next big release?
-
Do the tour and try to compose new stuff so we can say as we talk about the next album how that's no way to make a record so we get a pass from fans if it's good but not great.
Got 8 songs on the album... 7 loud and one quiet. For the quiet song, an acoustic ditty about being sweetly in love or an electric piece with the volume down about the pain of a recent loss?
-
Love... yuck! :D
Pain for me please!
You've finished the album and it's all set for release on a good date. But you find out that Taylor, Kanye and Adele all have albums out the same week... do you:
a) Release it that week anyway as it's not the same target audience
or
b) Delay because the publicity for them might drown out our own?
-
Release that week because we don't have the same audience and there's a chance one or all of those three blinks and reschedules a release and drops it on the week we picked to shift it to.
The club that gave us a really big break back in the day is having some financial issues and might close down.
Shrug and wax philosophical about the passages of time OR announce a benefit concert to help it out OR buy the club outright and brand it with our band name?
-
There's been pretty bad history with bands buying venues...So I think a benefit concert would be in order!
The benefit concert is tomorrow but the bass player got a nasty bug and won't be able to play.
Scramble around frantically trying to find a last minute replacement whose playing would be sloppy at best or play the show without bass and create more guitar and keys jams?
-
We can find a local hero that will do the job. Bass playing is all about adding bottom to the sound and keeping time with the drums. We can get a bass player in any big city, no worries.
Times are hard and dammit, they did it again! They billed the marionette show over our band's name, when WE are the headliner, not the freakin' marionette show!
Refuse to play and risk a riot of about 3-5 individuals at the venue or play anyway because we really need the gas money?
-
Play anyway, and sneakily cut the strings of the marionettes... BWAHAHAHA!
We do a cover of Metallica's Creeping Death to flesh out the set-list. You see that James Hetfield is in the backstage area (he's here for the puppets!), do you:
Include the cover anyway or drop it in case he's offended
-
Play it anyways! Who knows he might like it and promo us on his instatwitter!
And he does! And reception is great. So the record company thinks we should do a covers album.
Yes or No?
-
Yes, but we pick them carefully.
Buzz develops and Ritchie Blackmore asks if we'd like to back him up on his next hard rock tour that he does to keep the lights on.
Take that crazy ride or respectfully pass due to other commitments that we make sure we have?
-
Hell no! No Ritchie level drama please!
Alice Cooper wants some of the band to come in and do some studio work for his next album as session musicans.
Yes or No?
-
Sure thing, Alice Cooper's cool. And session work is just a few days, not a whole tour thing.
We just found out that the lead guitar player has been involved in the bootleg market, doing sounddesk recordings at concerts and making money for himself selling them to bootleggers.
Fire him and start legal proceedings
OR
Fire him and just end it
OR
Keep him around and see about getting our cut of the bootlegs going forward...
-
Give him an un-signable contract.
He has a garage with 5,000 copies in it...
Sell them thru our web site or Destroy them
-
Make them official limited edition releases and rake in a few bucks on the guys expense!
So now the hunt for a new guitarist is in full motion.
Look for an established player in the same age group or look for a hot young talent?
-
Established player, I want someone who isn't hungry and looking at us as a stepping-stone.
What sound do we want? Fluid Fender or chunky Gibson?
-
Gibson please! But I wouldn't be against Jackson either.
The established player wants to do add one song from his old band to the setlist.
Yes or No?
-
Sure, let's have some fun!
Turns out, it's a mushy ballad that's totally not anything like what we do and would likely feature just him, a pre-recorded orchestral track, and a singer... ours, by the way, has real trouble with the key it's in.
Give the song a total re-write for our stage sensibilities and risk making him mad OR walk back that earlier enthusiasm and possibly make him even madder?
-
No ballads! Next!
He's bit upset by that and as a counter offer he wants to add a jam section to one of the songs with a long guitar solo.
Agree with that and take a step back to the 70s or no, Jams have no place in live music anymore?
-
We'll jam, but it's gotta be a fast-paced guitar duel, those are hella fun!
A billionaire asks if we'd like to play at his party on a private island somewhere in the Caribbean where he promises plenty of drink, drugs, and eager young fans of our genre.
Board his private jet for the gig or decline the engagement?
-
Sure why not! Gig is a gig!
After so many years of heavy touring taking it's toll few members would want to take a year off from touring.
Agree to do so or say we'll carry on without you then?
-
If we don't take a break, the break takes us. Let's have a bit of a rest.
Some reporters are asking questions about that trip we took to that island and the direction does not seem at all savoury.
Tell all or deny everything?
-
Tell all there is to tell...why not.
During the break year the record company says we need to put out an album to fill the contract.
Yet another Best of collection or a live album from one of the earlier tours?
-
Or a dance remix... I'll get my coat!
A live album, but we're only away for a year why insist on a new album now! Probably source it from the bootlegs we have and give them a sound upgrade.
During the break, the main song writer wants to go to retreat in Nepal or Cambodia to "find himself".
Do you all go with him or Slap that nonsense out of him!
-
Those interested should join in, but it's by no means a mandatory team meeting. The break is to cut loose and to recharge our energies!
And then... that song writer gets busted at Kathmandu International for drug smuggling. Hard drugs. Like, we thought he was having a problem, but we chalked that up to tour stress...
Tell him he's welcome to rejoin us after he's done with his legal issues and has gone through rehab OR say a final goodbye OR he's still 100% in the band, we take him as he is?
-
If he goes through the rehab and no fuzz he is more than welcome back..especially since we're having an off year anyways so he's got plenty of time to get his stuff together.
During the break time we get an offer from a new record label. It's smaller but promises to put us on top of the list and give us all of their attention.
Accept or kindly decline?
-
Need to see the fine print about recording arrangements and if we have to rent our gear or not... I say better the devil we know. Kindly decline.
And now we're getting sued by the estate of an obscure musician because that song writer going through rehab lifted lyrics and riffs from about a dozen of his songs?
It's only rock and roll OR dude, you're fired for plagiarism.
-
No one ever steels riffs from other song writers... oh, sorry Mr Page I didn't see you standing there!
Yes it's only Rock n Roll!
The guy suing us has said he'll accept a small %age of the amount he's suing us for if we drop the songs.
Accept without admitting liability or Decline and continue with court proceedings because you believe you're innocent.
-
We're corporate - accept without admission, the sociopathic way to solve problems! (and we KNOW we're not innocent!)
But now it gets worse... that song writer had a manager back in the day that he signed a horrific contract with. That manager has come forward with a legal team and says he owns rights to anything the songwriter wrote for us. While we can keep some of the proceeds of the plagiarized material (he didn't write it, after all), there's the other original compositions that are now subject to a cease and desist order until the case moves through the court system, which could take years.
Is it now time to make a new band or are we going to find a way through this all, together?
-
I think it's time to call it a day then. The wheels of power crushed the little guys of the band.
Start a solo project or try to put a new band together with maybe one or two guys from the old band?
-
How about those of us who care get back to our roots and look up some of the guys we used to hang with back in the city when we was young and discover what might have been.
Do our old stuff in the main concert or only for encores?
-
Encores only. We're moving on, not jumping into the nostalgia act scene just yet.
Only two of the band stuck together, the rest went off to explore new options. One guy is singing and playing bass (not really a lead singer, but gotta do what ya gotta do), the other is wheedling a lead guitar role - but he's really a rhythm player.
Having fun hitting the old hangouts, but need to get away from the hired hand action and get a charismatic lead singer and a wank-meister lead guitarist. As well as a drummer. Look for a female lead singer and the implications that brings to our output, or a stay traditional and find someone a-la Rod Stewart?
-
Let's go with traditional.
Gravelly, bluesy singer or clear-throated pop songbird?
-
Bluesy style...Gotta move on forward from the old band so the consensus of the two old guys is that it's time to go Doom!
Have the guitar player learn to play lead and carry on with a single guitar or find a second guitarist?
-
Second guitarist, lets us also do that Yardbirds' style twin lead, nice and heavy.
For keys... Hammond B3 or Electric Piano?
-
Some Hammond here and there is fine...
Starting work on the first album but no record deal...
Start your own record label or try to hunt a deal from a major label?
-
Let's do it ourselves. Bandcamp awaits!
Got an invitation to play at Hellfest and Wacken... are those *really* the shows we want to do or should I tell the nice person on the telephone to call back when they can offer us a Vegas residency? :D
-
Ofcourse Wacken! What metal band wouldn't want to play at Wacken! It's the greatest metal festival of all time! Unless it gets muddy...then it's the muddiest!
Wacken just being few months away and we still don't have an album out.
Rush an EP out before the show or play majority of old band stuff and maybe throw in one or two new songs?
-
Rush that EP, gang! Let's do this punk rock style, one take, all live and BAM we got an EP!
Do we get a complicated, exacting tour rider for our shows or are we just happy to be there?
-
Happy to be there! Don't need no extra fuzzzzzz!
Put a nice preorder package together for the EP or just release it as and EP?
-
Just release it, preorders make people so much angrier if there's anything wrong with it.
There's a kid getting millions of views on mash-ups of our old band's songs with a current country music act. Do we want to call up that country act and do a mash-up of our current material as a bit of fun? Or do we ask YouTube to shut down that mashup maker?
-
Or... we let him continue as it's good publicity. Can't say I'm a fan of mixing with those country bumkins! ;)
The bassist has been photographed in an embrace with an attractive regional weather girl... he's in another relationship. Do we...
Brush it off saying "it goes with our image" or Deny it was anything meaningful and his girlfriend is fine with it!
-
Brush it off publicly but tell him privately to make sure his personal life doesn't impact the band negatively.
We're invited to contribute a few tracks to a video game. Send over existing versions of our material or record special versions exclusive to the game?
-
New tracks ofcourse!
All instrumentals or with vocals?
-
Do both so we got some collectible buzz and maybe encourage our fans to Karaoke these bad boys. :D
Require everyone to participate in writing to get a credit or just let the whole band split royalties evenly, regardless of contributions?
-
If the band writes it band ca share credits. It works well.
The video game becomes a smash hit. And now it's time to ride the high.
Hurry up the writing process for the new album so we can ride the hype or carry on working slowly but surely?
-
Let's hurry things along, gents! Can't rush greatness, but we'll never get to greatness if we don't get moving!
Release songs one by one as we get them ready or make people wait for the full album when it drops?
-
Wait for the full album.
Eventhough the game was a success the album falls flat and the tour isn't nearly drawing the kinds of crowds needed.
Cancel the tour and just focus on a new album or carry on with the tour financially crippling the band and hoping it'll pick up?
-
Let's get sick, cancel dates, retool, come back stronger so we honor those tickets at a future date.
To fix the sound... add more punk influence or more prog influence?
-
Prog Influences
After a year of hiatus the band comes back. Try a tour first or album first?
-
Album first, let's see where our heads are at and get oriented.
Studio in the city or studio in the country?
-
In the country unless we want a grimy/industrial feel
Industrial Feel or Nature Feel
-
Nature feel
Analog to digital recording or digital to digital recording?
-
Analog to digital.
Offer multi-formats for purchase (vinyl, cd, download) or forego production costs and download/streaming only?
-
Streaming with press-on-demand mini-runs for other formats.
Synthesizers or a real brass section?